Framing coaching to culture and context

In my blog ‘throw of your bowlines or cherish your harbour?’ I discussed setting up the coaching framework at We women foundation. It was about framing coaching - as a method - to a different culture and a very specific local context; working with female refugees from Burma living as migrants in Thailand. Some of you responded to Ursula or me, for which we are very grateful. To conclude and round things up - as part of my last day at the job - I’m happy to share findings and ideas with you. Mind you this is still work-in-progress - especially for the We women organisation - written from my own personal perspective as a coach. It’s also far too extensive to even call it a blog. Nevertheless I really wanted to get back to you. So if you’re interested, please have a read. I’ll leave you with the promise to “blog” again next time.

Expressing a coaching philosophy
We women foundation supports women whose passions, goals and motivation implicate them as future leaders of Burma. The long-term aim of the We women from Burma project is to assist unrecognized refugee women into obtaining higher positions within policy-making or influential organizations, so that they can empower women and their communities. Coaching is a very important part of the project, as was stressed by the students. Most of the participating women are under serious pressure to finish their education. At the same time, they have to manage their often very intense lives.

In order to meet their personal needs - and the goals of We women - we expressed a coaching philosophy:
 

• Coaching supports the women in gaining more control in their own lives, allowing them to chase dreams they hold for themselves and their communities, by acting on issues that they define as important.
• Coaching methods address and meet the needs of Burmese culture, while - at the same time - supporting the women with means to grow within their community.
• Coaching increases personal growth and leadership. Although we are not specifically training team skills, we feel very confident our women’s independence will allow them to achieve desired team positions.
• Coaching methods adapt to the various stages in the program, in order to help the women achieve the level of independence they need to make it through the in-university stage.
• Coaching is always based on equality, encouraging self-awareness and critical thinking. Authority and supervisor attitude do not fit We women.
• Vice versa, equality and mutuality - through coaching - helps We women to continuously learn and improve methods and projects.

Various elements make a coherent framework for support
We named a variety of development and coaching needs throughout the We women from Burma project. These needs or key competencies - 17 in total - break up into ‘work and study’, ‘personal’ and ‘leadership’. Some are more practical, others personal and in-depth. Some call for a professionally guided process, others do better when students help each other out. To shape the entire framework for support, we put four complementary elements into place:

1. Coaching: aiming at balance and focus through personal and leadership skills.
2. Mentoring: advising on and fixing practical problems by someone with senior skills.
3. Peer groups: meetings to share experiences focus on sharing underlying feelings.
4. Social network: a safe and designated online space for students to meet and connect.

Coaching differs from western style coaching

Compared to western style coaching, I find three differences shape a less western coaching approach:
 

(1) Stuck in the present versus stuck in the future or past

Stuck in the future or past could well be the most common starting point for coaching in the West; driven by lots of future thinking, big individual dreams and unresolved issues. In the West we often have difficulties understanding our present - feelings, anxieties, thoughts, life’s questions - to back up our dreams and future thinking. Therefore western style coaching regularly is about exploring today’s reality to get a better grip; for example on dreams and other future oriented behaviour. 

Stuck in the present might fit We women better. In this context it’s far more difficult to hold big dreams and goals in life, particularly as an individual. For one, because Buddhism focuses on today. But maybe even more so, for the students today’s reality is omnipresent, shaped by being a responsible representative of a larger community under difficult circumstances. Not to mention the refugee context, which means these people have fled experiences of poverty, sometimes violence and other significant life experiences. An illegal status in Thailand only adds to the insecurity and reality of a life in which there are less opportunities to chase dreams and aspirations. Digging out dreams within this reality can be ethically questionable.
 

(2) Different views on a life’s journey

A Buddhist quote on personal leadership states: “Like the captain of a ship, a leader must have a definite goal; only then can he chart his course and steer his ship in the right direction.” This ‘eastern’ journey is all about responsibility, about being a role model within your community who may lead the way. Mark Twain - a famous American writer - puts it differently. In lines well known to western travellers he states: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." This journey is about courage, experimenting and discovering new ways by being an individual. Two very different views on life holding values that shape our journey and influence a coaching approach.
 

(3) High context versus low context

A low context culture is one in which things are fully yet briefly spelled out. These cultures rely on making things explicit. They often refer to what is actually said or written. A high context culture is one in which people assume a great deal of common knowledge and views. A lot less is spelled out, issues remain implicit and are often transferred indirectly. Most Asian cultures are high context; as goes for Burma. Coaching will have to deal with less direct and more implicit ways.

These three differences - together with We women coaching experience - shapes our coaching style and methods. It differs from typical western coaching in the following characteristics:

• Invest time, don’t push forward: within the specific We women context, coaches should invest much more time in getting to know and understand the student; especially their ways of today. The coach has to accept that students are often driven by the present, without pushing perspectives ‘for the better’. This way she can help students to realistically open up to personal dreams and goals.
• Touch on but don’t follow on practical issues: at present practical issues are also taken on within coaching. These issues - although important - particularly add to the feeling of being stuck in the present. By adding mentoring for practical issues, we create as much coaching time as possible to focus on future goals and dreams and personal and leadership development.
• Less play, find focus first: different views on a life’s journey make We women coaching benefit most from no-nonsense methods. Western coaches often apply behavioural experiments to playfully find new ways. In our specific context the pressure of today’s reality calls for an approach in which we take firm hold of the bowlines and cherish the harbour. We want to find some clear and definitive focus points first, before we sail out. A less experimental approach starts with developing a clear vision; like the captain of a ship.
• Adapt to less direct ways; avoid being too liberal-minded: once the vision is clear, coaching addresses personal barriers similar to western style guidance. Nevertheless, We women has to accept that coaching on average will be less direct and more implicit, the amount of which depends on the needs and personality of the student. The coach has to adapt to less direct ways - show some cultural sensitivity - to actually connect with the student. Less direct also means we cannot focus on the individual too much. We don’t want to be too liberal-minded. In our context, connecting to the communities behind the individual is vital, even though we highly encourage critical thinking.
• Advice is no taboo: coaches in the West actually avoid giving any advice whatsoever; it’s all about individuality and ‘ownership’. But as our students try to balance individuality and community, they will at times have fundamental different views on ownership. We feel ownership - the student ultimately deciding on what to do - goes with personal leadership. Nevertheless, careful advice giving is no taboo for We women coaching; as long as equality and critical thinking are secured.
• Keep thinking (cultural) leadership: Within the context of We women from Burma, we want to be extra careful not to impose western concepts onto the students. Nevertheless, We women is about leadership, which means the students also need to face cultural challenges at some point. Therefore acknowledging cultural differences - challenging habits and ideas - can be an interesting part of coaching the more advanced students. The same goes for openly discussing leadership competencies, issues and ambitions.

Pre-university mentoring takes on practical issues
In addition to coaching, mentoring aims to develop work and study competencies and to solve practical problems. A mentor - which could well be a We women project coordinator - focuses on both advising and fixing issues. Mentoring is practical problem-solving on a demand-supply basis. In practice, we like the students to have a meeting with their mentor, immediately following on their coaching session. That way they’ll be able to get practicalities out of the way whereas necessary, while still being able to focus on the more personal aspects through coaching.

Besides 1-on-1 mentoring, we like to set up mentor groups in the pre-university stage. These groups of four to six students will meet with their mentor about four times a year, alternating individual meetings. Mentor groups provide the opportunity to learn from each other’s practical issues. On the other hand, it’s a good platform - and a time-saver - to train or explain activities every student has to deal with.

In-university peer groups support each other
To facilitate students in helping each other, we came up with the idea for We women to set up peer groups during the in-university stage. During this stage, mentoring hours are limited and students are often away from We women base, studying at universities in different cities or even countries. Peer groups focus on discussing issues in small groups of four to six fellow-students. Students help each other analyzing issues and present each other with advice. In the end - of course - it’s up to the students them selves whether they act on the advice given. Peer groups are catalysts, feeding out students with thoughts, ideas and feedback. Students will be trained on how to do peer supervision.

Peer supervision helps students solve both practical and more strategic or personal issues. In general, the longer a group sticks together, the more reflective it gets. The beauty of peer reflection is how it often cuts both ways. While reflecting on others issues, students will learn for them selves. They get acquainted with their own wisdom by overhearing them selves giving it to someone else.

The diagram below represents the way different elements adapt to the various stages in the We women from Burma project. The entire framework - including a format for personal development plans and elaboration of the various elements - is laid out in concept notes. 

Connect via We women Social Network
To facilitate contacts amongst students in a safe and discrete way, We women will start an online forum designed to provide an designated space for students to share concerns, experiences and advice. With minor input from We women staff, this forum will primarily be sustained through peer participation. The content discussed in this online forum could vary from topics useful to university life and studies as well as general peer support when personal needs arise. The forum is not only a place to voice concerns, but will allow students to share resources and ideas relevant to their studies. This can include for example online resources, as well as direct feedback from fellow-students. The network serves as a place to share any news or post topics that are of interest. It is a space for friendly and open communication.

The We women student network is getting bigger and bigger. Some are preparing for university, others are already busy doing their masters and soon enough this network will hold experienced and successful alumni-students. In time, the online social network will become a searchable bookshelf of knowledge and contacts.

Coaching, mentoring, mentor groups, peer groups, social networking; together they make a coherent framework that fits We women practise. Starting from this summer, We women will continue to shape and develop all of these elements. We women will look for an additional professional coach, preferably rooted in Burmese culture. The first mentor and peer groups will be set up this summer, and piloting the online social network has already started.
I’ll be gone, but I can’t wait to get back in touch for a first half years evaluation. 

For more information on We women foundation, link to their website or Facebook page.

Throw off your bowlines or cherish your harbour?

When discussing the coaching framework with Ursula at We women foundation, we dwelled upon how women from Burma point at their heart when talking about both their heart and mind. If you’re into Buddhism, you’ll know more about this. It’s very different from a Western upbringing, in which we clearly see the mind in one place and the heart in another. I often state that coaching is all about being you; both connecting our inside to what we show on the outside and connecting our hearts and minds. It feels like we can easily spend a lifetime ‘unconfusing’ ourselves. But what if a Burmese upbringing - or maybe a Buddhist upbringing in general - causes a different sort of confusion? What would it be like? And how does it influence a coaching approach?

I’m only starting to dig in, so obviously I’m far from having the answers. Plus I’m not what you might call an expert on Buddhism. Nevertheless, I feel like I am slowly waking up to a different coaching approach, to actually fit the local context. We women works within a very specific local context. They support female refugees from Burma - illegal migrants in Thailand - whose passions, goals and motivation implicate them as future leaders of Burma. Most women that take part in the project - talented and motivated as they are - are under a lot of pressure to finish their education. At the same time, these women have to manage their very intense lives. Therefore, coaching is already a vital part of their project.

So what changes a coaching approach compared to western style coaching? This is what I’m thinking:

• “Stuck in our future or past, trying to work out the present” could well be the most common starting point for coaching in the West. I feel we Westerners are mind racers - disconnected from our feelings or heritage - often far from knowing what it is that actually drives us. Western people do lots of future thinking; having big individual dreams. Not to mention we often have unresolved issues in our past. All together we seem to have lots of difficulties sensing and understanding our present - feelings, anxieties, thoughts, life’s questions - to back up our dreams and future thinking. Coaching is often about exploring today’s reality to get a better grip on our future oriented behaviour. 

 

• “Stuck in the present” might fit Buddhist cultures better. Over here, it is far more difficult to hold big dreams and goals in life, particularly as an individual. If only because Buddhism focuses on today. But for the women from Burma the reality of today is omnipresent, often shaped by being a responsible representative of a larger community. Then there’s the refugee context. These people have fled experiences of poverty, sometimes violence and other significant life experiences. On top of this, living as illegal migrants in Thailand adds to the insecurity and reality of a life in which there are less opportunities to chase dreams and aspirations. You could question the ethics of digging out dreams within this reality, right? On the other hand, people are much more aware of their feelings, anxieties, primary thoughts and life’s questions.

In addition, Asian cultures are often high context cultures; which means a lot less is spelled out and experiences and ideas are often much more implicit, So how to discuss matters as a coach? (Click here for more information on high versus low context). You might start to feel that a Western style of personal coaching is a total misfit for female refugees from Burma. But for now, I disagree.

Why? Let’s just simplify by saying that coaching is about personal leadership. I would argue that it’s all about opening up to your own journey. If that is the case, I feel Eastern and Western cultures have an interestingly different view on the concept of a life’s journey. A Buddhist quote on personal leadership states: “Like the captain of a ship, a leader must have a definite goal; only then can he chart his course and steer his ship in the right direction.” This journey - on the one hand - is all about responsibility and about being a role model within your community who may lead the way. Mark Twain - a famous American writer - puts it differently. In lines well known to Western travellers he states: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." This journey is about courage, experimenting and discovering new ways by being an individual. Different values shape our journey.

I feel these different concepts of a life’s journey - plus being stuck in the present versus future or past - shape a non-Western coaching approach. Not entirely different, but different for sure in terms of pace, focus, methods and behaviour. Feel free the comment. I’m happy to get back to you later with more specific ideas. But for now, I’m trying to withhold myself from jumping into conclusions; happy to learn from these more time-plentiful cultures.

The heart & the mind - www.coachcultures.org

Crisis? What Crisis?

No, this blog is not about Supertramp’s Fourth Album. But it would be a lousy title for my blog if there wasn’t any parallel. Supertramp released their Album during the mid-seventies oil-crisis, ironically denying the crisis. Well, I would love to add some question marks to today’s crisis. A few weeks ago, my colleague Ron got me started, by saying a crisis is nothing more than our world evolving very - very - fast. A very interesting thought. Yes, if we don’t want change, we - our government, financial ‘authorities’, whoever - may speak of crisis. But I feel this time of change holds lots of long-awaited good, which just might make our European or global crisis a most interesting and enjoyable time to discover new ways.

Three weeks ago, in my blog ‘so many ways’, I talked about inspiring Asian entrepreneurs, opening up to a diversity of ideas and solutions. So how about inspiration today? Even better, as I am now surrounded by social entrepreneurs. A funny combination of words ‘social-entrepreneurs’, which is used since the eighties (post-crisis) to label people who use business principles to solve social issues. Instead of focusing on profit and return, social entrepreneurs like to focus on creating social capital. That’s why social entrepreneurs are often associated with voluntary and non-profit sectors. Although there are even more ways. What is most appealing to me is how social entrepreneurs are always most active in times of so-called crisis, no matter the shape, size or geographic location. Social entrepreneurs want to contribute, highly motivated by making positive changes. They see all sorts of opportunities and - most important of all - seize opportunities where others freeze or get frustrated.

Today I myself got the opportunity to contribute to a very interesting, driven social ventures called We women foundation. Volunteering for now, as a coach, which of course in my case is something of a luxury thing. But you’d have to understand that no one makes big bucks in social ventures like these. That’s not how you create social capital. We women is about supporting strong unrecognized refugee women from Burma to build capacity within their community. About increasing their abilities to make and influence policy decisions in Burma, which today are too often made by outsiders. About supporting these women to make it to and through University, to promote their chances of achieving their dreams and goals. All of which is social capital. I can tell you, seeing these things work out is seriously good pay.

Many things happen in Burma today, many of which are very problematic. Problematic and complex in ways that make our European crisis seem very - very - shallow. But no matter the shape or size of crisis, these specifically are times to create positive and lasting change in fast-evolving communities.

So if you ever feel locked in by our European and global crisis, stuck on a train towards change that is not you. Change trains at the next stop and seize your crisis-opportunity to join or become a social entrepreneur. It’s a ‘crisis’, so you’ll find them around. Yes of course, you’ll make less of a buck. But hey, it’s crisis anyway! Maybe you’ll have to adjust your standards a bit. But a few days or weeks down the line you’ll know you’re investing, focused on positive change. And some time later you’ll feel it too. Soon, very - very - soon, you’ll find out how little the word crisis actually means. I’d highly recommend this change of perspective.

For the times they are-a-changing

Missing out on the sixties, I think I have never really been exposed to intense, political generation conflicts. Sure, back home we discuss X and Y versus Babyboom, which is fun but always somewhat academic. Walking the streets of Cambodia however, differences between generations are suddenly very obvious and very visible, if only because the overwhelming majority - over 70 percent - of the people is under the age of 30. Cambodia is home to ‘The Killing Fields’. Under a terrible regime by the Khmer Rouge and their leader Pol Pot, more than 2 million people were murdered or (intentionally) died from starvation. All these atrocities happened not so long ago - between 1975 and 1979 - during the cold war. But even now - 30 years later - the people responsible for this genocide have not been brought to justice. And although crime tribunals are now established and television and papers report about it as part of a national healing process, many people aren’t even aware of it. What remains for people who lived through the genocide, is trauma, suspicion and distrust. But as some say, youth already forgets.

Cambodia shows a painful generation gap between those who survived, and their children and grandchildren. Many young people actually know very little about the Khmer Rouge days. It makes sense though. The people traumatized by the regime are in many cases still unable or unwilling to talk or even emotionally detached. And, maybe even more so, they really don’t want to burden their children and grandchildren with so much brutality. And for the younger generation? They just can’t cope with this huge amount of painful history. They want to look ahead, see a brighter future. It is said that even teachers - who are willing and able to tell the stories of Khmer Rouge - feel left out by their students. I guess the horror is just too big. So there you have it: a scared and traumatized generation and a - working hard to be - happy-go-lucky generation.

From this blogs’ perspective, I see at least three interesting cultural differences between these generations. To begin with, the younger generation shows a lower context level. They are not afraid to make a statement and are more likely to tell you what they really think. The older generation for sure is much, much harder to reach. Secondly - with less of the weight and the scars of the past - Cambodian youth is much more future-oriented. Although still not very optimistic due to the system they live in, they sure look ahead. And third and last, I feel young Cambodians - through their will to be different - are seriously trying to take down power distance (not very common in Asia). The younger generation happily picks up different worldviews, if only because a larger portion of them got access to pretty good education. All together I wouldn’t be surprised if young Cambodians carry personal leadership to a whole new and - certainly for Cambodian standards - different level.

As I talked to Meang, some pieces fell together. Meang is not in his thirties yet and runs two guesthouses. He was able to go to University, studied to be a teacher, and worked for an American NGO for two years. But soon he decided to start his own business. Meang explains: ‘young Cambodians are very aggressive in starting their own business. People don’t trust the government, so everyone wants to be independent.’ At least younger people can. According to Meang, many older people not only lack education, but also willpower and self-trust to make the same effort. Sadly, this is because educated professionals were the primary target in the Khmer Rouge years. So more than anywhere else in the world, it is up young people to change and reshape Cambodia. In time this will hopefully help to create a safer and more stable environment for the post-traumatic generation. Without stability and new trust in good - different - leadership, the traumatized generation will remain suspicious, and keeps on passing on their distrust and self-distrust to their children.

So - as a post-sixties-kid - being in Cambodia educated me on the impact of generation gaps. Talking about generations X and Einstein suddenly feels somewhat shallow, right?! But think of what third generation Turkish and Moroccan immigrants in the Netherlands experience today. They have to work out a painful generation gap as well, as they face the difficulty of both not really fitting in with their parents and their Dutch work-life environment. Their success is vital for upcoming generations. Cambodia to me is a reminder to always take more than one generation into account, when working with cultural differences. I'd say there’s no better way to understand the drive and frustrations of today!

The noble art of doing nothing

As we’re travelling we get to do loads of things. Plus we get loads of time to do nothing. Theoretically, it’s just a matter of choice. In practise, doing nothing is probably one of the bigger hurdles I like to jump. I always seem to have something planned, or at least something coming up. It’s actually quite hard to just lean back and let things be. Needless to say I am part of a numerously big crowd.

I guess it’s a cultural and a family thing. Time just seems too wonderful to waste. How interesting it is to observe the travelling crowd. If alone at bus stops, in buses or on boats, travellers always seem busy reading their books or writing their diaries. Or maybe they are updating their facebook page (mentioning they are at a Peruvian bus stop). These busy travellers, they are nothing like Bolivians or Peruvians. The locals at the bus stop have their own elusive way of just being there, without any hassle or impulse. A yoga master couldn’t do any better!

After six weeks of travelling - on our 4-day boat trip from Puerto Montt to Puerto Natales - I finally find some of that myself. And why not, it’s not like we have anything better to do, right? Life on the boat starts with breakfast and then slowly progresses through lunch to dinner. In the meanwhile we hope to spot some whales and dolphins, or maybe penguins. So, basically, we just stare out at sea. I get to hang around, talk to lots of different people, play a little game of chess and grab a coffee every now and then. But the noble art of doing nothing is what ties it all together. And - probably just to my own surprise - I actually find it very relaxing. Maybe even for the first time since being a teenager, I don’t feel the least pushed around by new ideas and alternative plans.

In between these wonderful periods of nothing, I just have to cultivate things a little and start talking about ‘it’ with other travellers. A few interesting things came up:

1. Once you free your agenda, doing nothing actually turns out to be very spontaneous. Free time opens you up to anyone and anything. This is how nothing turns into interesting! 
2. If you try to let go of old ideas, beliefs and habits, stop planning is a great way to open your mind. At times you don’t really do or think much, like in the shower or maybe staring at the sea, you’re most likely to get in contact with your own genius. 
3. For almost every traveller doing nothing is a topic, in different shapes and sizes. Mindfulness, yoga, boat trips and 30 hour bus rides, they all contribute to both 1 and 2.

What I find most interesting is how travelling seems to be one of the most effective dates people can make with themselves. Whereas at home these self-dates are often replaced by other plans, travelling eventually turns out to be that something that helps you to do nothing. Especially when travelling starts to wear you down. This is why a close friend gave me the advice to - every now and then - spend a sleepless night on a dreadful bus. The value of this advice is slowly sinking in.

Yes, there’s always a lot to learn. But if there’s one thing I’d like to pick up from other, time plentiful cultures, it is this noble art of doing nothing. I’m sure it will help me - and others - to enjoy the moment, and to change restricting perspectives from time to time. If it comes to doing nothing I may not be genetically blessed, but I’m happy to say I’m learning!

A bunny in a bunny suit

‘pretending to be myself again
acting as if I was who I am
wearing the clothes that I always wear
and doing the usual thing to my hair

pretending to be myself again
imitating the person I've always been
legally changing my name to my name
and making believe I'm exactly the same

a bunny in a bunny suit
tiger in a tiger mask
who in the world do you think that I am
I suppose it depends on who you ask’

I happen to hear this song (by Richy Vesecky) for the first time at a tango performance in Utrecht. How suitable. It could be about subgroups, like for example certain types of travelers. The ones that try so hard to make sure they look like one ;-) But to me - today - it’s about personal growth. About whether you allow yourself to grow within the network of your family, friends and colleagues. Others - unconsciously - tend to know you for who you were, not for who you are. Unless you put some serious and constant effort into it. Which can be very scary at times, as it might cause relationships to break, or jobs to suddenly become very hollow. For many times, it seems a lot easier to just wear the suit, for now…

I feel this is one of the bigger themes in our western individualized society. Most of us grew up with the concept of personal growth and welfare. But as we grow older, we find this can easily come into conflict with our need to be part of a family or a close circle of friends. It’s up to us to find ways to balance these scales. For sure, this is a challenge we sometimes wished we could do without.

Actually, some other cultures do, like Bolivia for example. Over here, tight knit social networks are way more important than ours. The family is the axis of the social life and structure. Especially in rural areas, many generations still often live together in one house. The extended family or ‘familia’ serves as a strong support and network system. And also in Argentina, family is the centre of life. Family honor and tradition are very important in both countries.

I always thought it was difficult to stick your neck out back home in the Netherlands. But just imagine how hard it is over here? For even if you are educated and skilled, you are not respected for loosening social knots. It takes strong character and loads of willpower to do so. Like our local tour guide Nancy. She went to University to study languages. By doing so she’s able to make a decent living. Nevertheless, she’s almost completely out of touch with family and close friends.

So it seems to me that many Bolivians are most likely to be who they have always been. I guess the choice between the bunny and the bunny suit is simply a luxury choice our western culture allows us to have.