We all want the same, don’t we?

This week I had the opportunity to facilitate a Youth Exchange workshop at Beam Education Foundation in Chiang Mai. Every three months a group of Burmese refugees - in their early twenties, working at different Community Based Organizations in Chiang Mai - gather to discuss topics of their interest. This time round about thirty students targeted the topic of education in Burma. We discussed all levels from primary school to university, collecting dreams and ideas on how to improve Burmese education. Two NGO-workers, Leena from Finland and Meaghan from the US, added an international perspective by doing presentations and Q&A on school systems in Finland, US and UK. The outcome of the day was very clear. And it surprised me, although I know It shouldn’t.

Ever since the current military regime in Burma staged a coup in 1988, education deteriorated to a point where post-secondary education was almost non-existent. Nearly all of Burma's universities and colleges have been mostly closed since the student-led protests in 1988, in which thousands of non-violent demonstrators were gunned down. Universities in Burma have been open sporadically over the last decade and most academic materials are even more decades out of date. But the greatest barrier to attend primary and secondary school for sure is poverty. Cuts in government spending on education meant an increase in costs to families in the form of a series of taxes and donations, to be paid to the education department, the school, and the teachers. Every little ‘extra’ has to be paid for. Over fifty percent of the children drop out of school before fifth grade. Children in ethnic minority conflict areas are even less likely to have access to school, as struggle for food security takes priority.

So maybe I was expecting the students to be political about their education system. Or maybe I thought they would avoid the personal, focusing on conditions and curricula. And maybe I was also guessing culture would somehow influence the outcome. But the fact of the matter was that most students expressed basic needs. As they got more personal they talked about copy-paste education, lack of room for discussion, power-distant teachers that don’t listen to students, non-existing equality and no personal approach whatsoever. The students long for critical capacity and ways for them to express opinions. They want dedicated and involved teachers, who are consistent and open-minded. Not to mention they’d like some time to daydream, relax and have fun. And that’s when it hit me; these of course are fundamental human needs. It’s all about participation, about understanding, about identity and about freedom. And it doesn’t matter the least bit whether you’re from the Netherlands, Finland, US or Burma. We all want the same, don’t we?

Fundamental human needs are constant through all human cultures and across all time periods (Manfred Max-Neef). What does change over time - and across cultures - is the strategies by which we satisfy these needs. That is a part of what Coach Cultures is about; being able to help people with different backgrounds, without force-feeding different cultural ideas. But when it comes to fundamental needs we are all very similar, so we can forget about our differences. Max-Neef distincts nine fundamental human needs: subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, leisure, creation, identity and freedom. Each one breaks down into ‘who do you want to be?’, ‘what do you want to have?’, ‘what do you want to do?’ and ‘how do you want to interact?’.

Sometimes we need a lively experience to remember the basics. To me, listening to the students at Youth Exchange made me realize we are similar in so many ways. All too valuable, especially since I have been focusing a lot on differences lately. Yes, sometimes focus dazzles us. Re-realizing we are all very much the same - I am you and you are me - I immediately felt even more involved. So even though the outcome shouldn’t surprise me, I’m only happy it did.

Do we look up or down across cultures?

Last week I got started on my new volunteer job, setting up a coaching framework for We women foundation in Chiang Mai (Thailand). We women supports unrecognized refugee women whose passions, goals and motivation implicate them as future leaders of Burma. Coaching is on of more important aspects in We womens’ programs, which makes this job a double inspiration for me.

We womens’ staff and volunteers are a happy mix of Dutch, Shan from Burma, Burmese, US, US-Korean-Thai, British and Thai. What struck me immediately is how all staff and volunteer members - culture to culture - almost seem to look up to one another. Better put: everyone is valuing and admiring different qualities and styles and there’s a high level of mutual respect. Which reminded me of an article I once read (and forgot about), explaining how - across cultures - people tend to look down upon themselves. Others - or other cultures - seem so naturally skilled sometimes, while some skills never seem to come easy for you and me. I’m sure you recognize the feeling, right? Looking up across cultures feels good, as it fills you with positive emotions such as interest and admiration.

But, unfortunately, that would be all too easy. This week at lunch, one of the staff members mentioned how Thai people often tend to look down upon people from Burma in Thailand. My mind raced back to the Netherlands, where some not very interesting right winged political party opened a website to encourage complaints about Eastern European migrants. Encouraging people to look down for sure. As we all know, looking down unfortunately is common. So, here’s my question: Do we look up or down towards other cultures? I’ll try a rational approach for a change.

Why do we look down? Although luckily many treasure tolerance and equality, simultaneously discrimination, suppression and racism is happening. Some people look down on others because of occupation, appearance, religion, gender, culture, sexual orientation or even car brand. Most of this is based on prejudice: not knowing. Prejudice tends to make people unsure and less confident, or sometimes even scared or hostile. It’s a cliché, but when I meet arrogance or violence, 90% of the time I see a big whack of insecurity and prejudice. So that’s one. Secondly, people subconsciously look down because of different cultural habits and conceptions. Chileans for example, have very little tolerance for failure. That’s why there are so few entrepreneurs in Chile. It also explains why Chileans look down upon small Asian businesses; not racial but rather based on the way Chileans - and you and me - think and act. Thirdly - and not in the least - people tend to look down because of trends in media and politics. Looking down has become a global sport. Every day papers, social media and television thrive on the latest fails of celebrities and politicians. Looking down can be very easy and subconscious.

So why then do we look up? First of all, as people move around and meet with different cultures, they often feel clumsy and not very well adjusted. I know I did sometimes. If you don’t walk the walk or talk the talk, you’re bound to feel insecure at some point. In these situations, many people tend see themselves as less competent which makes them look up against others. Secondly, many people are curious and want to pick up new ideas or skills. This is a firm ground for looking up at different qualities. And if it turns out we still don’t understand, people are often very much willing to admire. As said, admiration makes us feel happy and good; that's why we all have our heroes. And have you noticed how our heroes are often very much unlike ours selves? For good reasons, as differences appeal and challenge us. The same goes for admiring other cultures. Thirdly - to wrap things up - there’s self-awareness and self-confidence. If you feel these apply to you, you are more likely to look up and learn from other people. At least it won’t put you down.
 
Back to We women. The mutual admiration struck me, so I’m afraid this is still the lesser common. But looking down is just so not satisfactory, don’t you agree? We’d want to make sure we look up instead of down, or at least make some eye contact with other cultures. Ask yourself this: How do you expect to enjoy your lifetime with 7 billion others in this world - different people, different skills, different ideas and different values - if you’re not willing to appreciate differences? I for one am sure cross-cultural coaching would be out of the question without admiration and some serious sense of our diverse reality.

So many ways

The longer I’m travelling, the more I realise how - before I left - I was on my own little, personal crusade. My crusade was up against single-solution-thinking. Nothing violent I can reassure you. Although I wasn’t really aware how serious my crusade was until I first mentioned single-solution-thinking in my blog two weeks ago (How can I help?). Seeing different ways and new opportunities really makes me tick. It’s one of the things I like so much about coaching; being able to help people opening their mind to new ways, to different ideas or to helpful concepts. In return, I’m granted with lots of interesting thoughts and ideas to take in. Nevertheless in general, I feel single-solution-thinking is everywhere. In Europe we are brought up - and especially educated - with the idea there’s always one best solution. Until a better one comes along. It seriously narrows our perspective. And it makes people feel seriously locked-in or even scared. Especially today - in a fast and changing world - many people see no other alternative but to stop moving forward. Many people even want to go back, which causes old-fashioned-conservatism to thrive.

Very much unlike many Asian countries, who seem to be opening up to a diversity of solutions and ideas. The well-known quote is ‘same same but different’, and you’re supposed to say it with a smile and a sense of pride on your face. Anywhere, anything can be organized, only slightly different. Everyday creativity. There are few things that can’t be done and not many people seem afraid or reluctant to try something new or different. In general - staying in Asia - I feel positively surrounded by very much open-minded people, who don’t seem the least narrowed by often strong religious or family values. This is what makes Asia so vibrant to me: so many people being curious and open.

From this perspective, China for sure is ruling the world. There has never been a communist country that - at the same time - became world champion in capitalism and materialism. To me this just proves anything is possible in China. It’s only a matter of time. I feel their success today is partly related to curiosity and their ability to see so many ways. Even though Chinese society is very evolved and complex, China is always on the lookout to find and understand new concepts and ideas. I often wondered why most western countries hold back. Why don’t we pick up new concepts and ideas in Asia? As you know it doesn’t take expensive rockets or spaceships to get here. And be sure this a world to curiously explore.

Now before I lose myself in politics, lets just go back to ‘same same but different’ and progressive-creative thinking. Curiosity and openness are key competences for entrepreneurs. Both in Asia - where you will find all sorts of entrepreneurs - as back home. If you want to start, grow and maintain a business, these are probably the most important character ingredients you’d have to bring in. I’ve always liked being around entrepreneurs, all filled with ideas and enthusiasm. And I am sure most of them would not hesitate to join me on my crusade, if it wasn’t for the sake of their business they don’t. Entrepreneurs keep their special - seeing so many ways - quality to them selves, as it is the best way to benefit from our single-solution-society. They are the ones that come up with a must-have new solution, marketing it as the better one that comes along. And be sure they’ve got the next best single-solution lined up, open and creative as they are. Waiting for single-solution-people to be ready. Slowing down - in general - is better for entrepreneurs’ wallets.

Too bad! I would love to see Europe open up again, like Asia is doing. It would be great to see people regain that everyday creativity. So observe, enjoy, and learn from entrepreneurs. Or take a break and explore Asia; which especially today is a mind-bending experience. But maybe it would be even better to open your mind (and your front door) to different nationalities and cultures back home. Same same but different! You’d be surprised how it will widen your perspective.

Up for negotiation?

Whenever we want something from someone - or another person wants something from us - negotiations get started. I guess I never realized the importance and the ever presence of negotiation. Never realizing - and never really liking - it took me a long time to accept and admit we do it all the time. And if I say all the time, I mean ALL the time: at work, at home, at school, in relationships, in business, and so on. Except for every day shopping that is, that one seemed to be ruled out in most western countries. Although some people know how to get a bargain anytime and anywhere. But this is not about bargaining; negotiating is a two-way thing.

So here we are, travelling throughout South America and Asia, realizing we lost the most basic and explicit of all negotiation skills: getting yourself an every day product for a good price. Only now - after some four or five months of basic training on the job - I am able to smile all the way through the negotiation process. And even though my own culture tends to look at negotiation in a very negative way, I’m starting to see the beauty of it. It’s both good fun and for a good cause, as a good deal cuts both ways.

Negotiating is also a very interesting skill from the perspective of this blog, as it may well be one of the most culturally influenced skills around. Not only because some cultures have more practise, but also because culture plays a very important role when negotiating. All parties bring in their own specific cultural behavior. We all have slightly different patterns of thinking, sets of values and ways of feeling and acting. Culture immensely influences the way negotiation takes place. How is negotiation perceived? Do we take on a competitive-aggressive strategy or friendly one? Do we avoid uncertainty by agreeing on principles first - that would have been my style before this trip - or do we just dive in and save the best for last? Think only of communication style and peoples willingness to adapt, and you know you’re up for something. Intercultural negotiation is in a league of its’ own.

Paul R. Horst (United States Airforce) wrote a very interesting paper on ‘cross-cultural negotiations’. He summarizes negotiation factors and their cultural responses. A few I find particularly interesting, as you are bound to run into them more often when working (or travelling) abroad. Ask yourself these questions, and see if you can fill them in for your colleagues or business partners. The questions made me highly aware of cultural aspects, which makes negotiating even more interesting and fun to do.

• Soft or hardball: What is the most important outcome for you, contract or relationship? What do you prefer, win it all or win-win?
• Formalities or personal touch: Is you personal style formal or informal? Does that include emotions? Do you like to communicate direct or indirect? Do you take risks or rule them out as soon as possible?
• Organization: Do you want to finish fast, or is time not a big issue? Do you start with minor or major negotiation ingredients? Who negotiates? Can anyone negotiate? Who is to decide? Do you seek consensus?

As said, intercultural negotiation is one of those things you will for sure be a part of when working abroad. It will influence your success and ability to find your way in work and business; in job interviews, performance appraisals, project management, leadership or any other form of every day work. And in the end, since it’s a two-way thing, you’d have to be able to see both ends in order to be most successful. On average, women are somewhat better at this, having the tendency to give in a little to let both parties have some results. Unless - and this is proven - women negotiate in order to achieve something for someone else. This is why, in some cultures, men let their wife or girlfriend negotiate for them.

So, are you up to it? If so, the key is to know about cultural response. And most of all, get to know your own. Charlotte - a Danish expat I met in Phnom Penh and lives in Beijng near to the famous brand-clothing- markets - tells me how she urges visiting friends to leave their money at home the first time they enter the market. ‘First practise and observe, or be sure you’re gonna be caked.’  Some sound advice if you ask me. A similar thing goes for many workers with different cultural backgrounds in the Netherlands. How do you - for example - pick up the desirable Dutch leadership style, built upon consensus and reason, if you were brought up in very different ways? Or what if you’re Dutch and work in France or Italy? What about emotions in communication? Just follow Charlotte’s advice: give it time, observe peoples’ response and enjoy working on your own.

Which brings me back to my own recent experiences and change. Once you learn to smile your way through the intercultural negotiation process and get to see the beauty of it, I’m sure you’re in the market!

How can I help?

‘Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than it’s operating manual.’ In some ways, the same goes for charity in countries like Cambodia. As one of the least developed countries - at some point completely left on their own devices by the rest of the world - Cambodia today is a place where all sorts of development aid are highly visible. But it’s complicated; you’d need a manual.

Some of the orphanages in Siem Reap (and other more touristy places) lead by dreadful example. Many are not even orphanages, but rather boarding schools for poor children or a safe place for children from troubled homes. But the worst ones - and this is said to be pretty common - rent or buy children from their often very poor parents. They only aim to bring in money through orphanage-tourism. For sure, these are not the orphanages where your money is going to be well spent. We saw signs on the streets advertising ‘shows’ by orphans: ‘performance, music & songs by the vulnerable children’. It’s one of those things that made me wonder if I even wanted to know. It does get very complicated. The operating manual for Cambodian orphanages is way too big for a quick read or a short stay.

Some say - and I believe this is true - charity is often damaging, unless it helps the recipients to become independent of it. We tried to find those places, and we believe to have found a few. ‘Where helping tastes good’ is the slogan of ‘Haven’, a restaurant that aims to integrate coming-of-age orphans back into society. Sara and Paul worked in an orphanage on their world trip in 2008. That’s when they started wondering about what happens to the orphans that grow too old to stay. It didn’t look too good, so they wanted to set up something that helps the children take care of them selves. Haven opened only three weeks before we arrived in Siem Reap; in a quiet little street just outside the hustle of downtown Pub Street. ‘We don’t want to expose the children - our family - to this kind of tourism’ Sara explains. ‘Our trainees need a safe, healthy and friendly environment to learn!’ Needless to say the food and the service were great. So after their training, the children can set a new standard in Siem Reap’s catering industry. We ended up eating out at Haven three times that same week. ‘Friends’ in Phnom Penh is a similar, already well-established initiative. Since 1994, Friends protects and reintegrates street children. They possibly run the most famous restaurant in Phnom Penh, besides the Foreign Correspondents Club I guess. I find their holistic program and international and local network very impressing. And luckily, most people want to help out. It’s a lot better to live by each other’s happiness and not misery, right? Although I must admit that if I can help out just by eating out, it has just become very easy.

By chance, we also spent two days teaching at a small English school run by Daro, a Buddhist monk. The school - outside Siem Reap - is not exposed to tourism and doesn’t have much sponsors or ongoing funding. The experience was very good. And although I’m sure the children and the two of us shared both fun and useful hours, we decided to change our approach next time. Especially with children, we feel time and commitment is important. Two days is way too short to make sure it’s all about the best interest of the children; not about us being all helpful and interesting for a few days.

The holistic ‘Haven and Friends approach’ reminded me of something else: niche-aid. In Africa, Western countries especially fund fighting big diseases, such as TBC, HIV and malaria. But we fail to fill up some important healthcare gaps. In Rwanda for example, the big diseases are said to account for only 10% of the problems, whereas more basic issues such as diarrhoea, pneumonia and malnutrition are the biggest killers. Many people still die because of a lack of healthcare, in spite of large amounts of health aid from humanitarian organizations. Some say because most aid is niche-aid. And although fighting big diseases remains important, it may well be more cost-effective to start with the basics; for example by improving health infrastructure, providing training and setting up local management.

I like to think that - and this is no manual - in the end helping all comes down to opening up to people and to just being there. Avoid single-solution-thinking - get to know people - and try to think of them as your family. As Sara and Paul show us. Stick around, but make sure you avoid long-term dependence. In my experience as a coach - which is similar in many ways - people always find admirable and surprising new ways them selves. It’s those pieces only you can put together yourself. Many parents are experts; knowing it’s not about taking over. Understanding that, helping out in other cultures is quite similar. Stick around and open up. In many occasions you’ll find it is not so much your help that makes the bigger difference; it’s the confidence raised by your being there.

Search for authenticity

As a coach, I tend to stumble upon the word authenticity everywhere. It is a popular word for speakers and authors on psychology, spirituality and human development. Plus, it’s part of todays’ vocab of most managers and consultants. It’s a funny word which - as it should - sounds interesting and important and all, but comes with a variety of interpretations. It means something like ‘not false or copied, genuine, real, free from pretense or hypocrisy, sincere’. Authenticity is regularly explained as being your real self, without concern for what others may think of you. Easy summary, tough challenge!

As we travel, we can’t get away from people using the A-word. Many travelers want to experience the real deal; get an honest idea and perspective on the countries they visit. But what does it mean for people to be ‘real’? And who decides if it’s real or not? And is it even achievable, as only us being there changes the whole dynamics of places?

Is it about people living their original lifestyle, living by traditional values, so that us travelers can get a sense of history? Most travelers seem to be looking for that nostalgia, wanting to experience the exotic, wanting to connect to something sacred from the past. Over here at Angkor Wat, that - and the grandeur of the amazing Temple complex - is one of the key reasons for people visiting. For some that includes touristy elephant rides. But - authentic or not - you can’t get away from the hundreds of little handcraft shops and the abundance of food stalls aiming at tourists. After all, you can’t blame people for trying to make a living of it all. I remember us visiting the floating villages at Lake Titicaca in Peru, only for a few hours. Their traditional way of living - or so it says in every guidebook - seemed only disturbed by them singing ‘Vamos a la playa’ for welcomes and goodbyes. To us, this type of A-word tourism felt quite perverse. These people were obviously far from authentic, living a museum-lifestyle to make a living with modern life only miles away.

So what is authentic in terms of travelling? I guess it’s all about being given the opportunity to look behind the scenes; which is s lot easier in places where you are welcomed in stead of entertained. We also find that it takes time to see through, if we even can. The more days we spent in little towns - meeting the same people over and over again - the more people start to behave in their natural ways around us. And if we stick around, we are often lucky meeting different people, somewhat further away of the business of dealing with tourists.

I guess authenticity is all about today and not about history. Yes, it’s amazing to meet with people and cultures that are still strongly connected to their roots and their past. But if the past is cultivated in a way that it withholds people from living their lives or from being teenagers today, it starts to feel twisted. So if we want authenticity, we have to go with the times and the flow, not leaning backwards but forwards. It’s the people themselves that - by working out their own lifestyle - decide if it’s authentic or not. So if you’re the kind of traveler that wants to avoid daily living conditions or political realities, you’re not going to meet much authenticity.

As said in the beginning, the search for authenticity is popular these days. Sales representatives have to be authentic, consultants have to be authentic and managers have to be authentic. If we feel people show us who they are, we tend to trust them. But there is a similar catch to it; who decides if people are being authentic? Is it the company? The client? The manager? For some it gets real confusing, especially within strong company cultures. Is it wise for companies to look for people that can - authentically - fit in their historically shaped company culture? Or would it be better to allow people to be different, so that a company culture stays open and can move forward. I guess I would always advice to gently lean forward, in a way that stimulates people to show themselves and work out their own work- and lifestyles. For one because many people have a fair tendency to adjust, or even to seriously overstretch themselves in order to fit in. Like Cambodians in Siem Reap adjust to tourism, which - to us - makes it harder to look behind the scenes. Nevertheless, allowing people to be authentic, also means allowing them to be different then before. 

Back to the A-word in traveling. We’ve slowed down now. Which - for now - feels awfully good. And although we’re never sure how much extra life behind the scenes we get to experience by slowing down, it sure is an interesting change of perspective. But maybe this is not just about trying to look behind other peoples’ scenes. I guess it’s just as much about me and my girlfriend letting go of our travel culture so far, giving in to our own real deal by gently leaning forward. People - travelers, managers, companies - are not likely to find authenticity if they don’t step out them selves. The search for authenticity has to cut both ways.

For the times they are-a-changing

Missing out on the sixties, I think I have never really been exposed to intense, political generation conflicts. Sure, back home we discuss X and Y versus Babyboom, which is fun but always somewhat academic. Walking the streets of Cambodia however, differences between generations are suddenly very obvious and very visible, if only because the overwhelming majority - over 70 percent - of the people is under the age of 30. Cambodia is home to ‘The Killing Fields’. Under a terrible regime by the Khmer Rouge and their leader Pol Pot, more than 2 million people were murdered or (intentionally) died from starvation. All these atrocities happened not so long ago - between 1975 and 1979 - during the cold war. But even now - 30 years later - the people responsible for this genocide have not been brought to justice. And although crime tribunals are now established and television and papers report about it as part of a national healing process, many people aren’t even aware of it. What remains for people who lived through the genocide, is trauma, suspicion and distrust. But as some say, youth already forgets.

Cambodia shows a painful generation gap between those who survived, and their children and grandchildren. Many young people actually know very little about the Khmer Rouge days. It makes sense though. The people traumatized by the regime are in many cases still unable or unwilling to talk or even emotionally detached. And, maybe even more so, they really don’t want to burden their children and grandchildren with so much brutality. And for the younger generation? They just can’t cope with this huge amount of painful history. They want to look ahead, see a brighter future. It is said that even teachers - who are willing and able to tell the stories of Khmer Rouge - feel left out by their students. I guess the horror is just too big. So there you have it: a scared and traumatized generation and a - working hard to be - happy-go-lucky generation.

From this blogs’ perspective, I see at least three interesting cultural differences between these generations. To begin with, the younger generation shows a lower context level. They are not afraid to make a statement and are more likely to tell you what they really think. The older generation for sure is much, much harder to reach. Secondly - with less of the weight and the scars of the past - Cambodian youth is much more future-oriented. Although still not very optimistic due to the system they live in, they sure look ahead. And third and last, I feel young Cambodians - through their will to be different - are seriously trying to take down power distance (not very common in Asia). The younger generation happily picks up different worldviews, if only because a larger portion of them got access to pretty good education. All together I wouldn’t be surprised if young Cambodians carry personal leadership to a whole new and - certainly for Cambodian standards - different level.

As I talked to Meang, some pieces fell together. Meang is not in his thirties yet and runs two guesthouses. He was able to go to University, studied to be a teacher, and worked for an American NGO for two years. But soon he decided to start his own business. Meang explains: ‘young Cambodians are very aggressive in starting their own business. People don’t trust the government, so everyone wants to be independent.’ At least younger people can. According to Meang, many older people not only lack education, but also willpower and self-trust to make the same effort. Sadly, this is because educated professionals were the primary target in the Khmer Rouge years. So more than anywhere else in the world, it is up young people to change and reshape Cambodia. In time this will hopefully help to create a safer and more stable environment for the post-traumatic generation. Without stability and new trust in good - different - leadership, the traumatized generation will remain suspicious, and keeps on passing on their distrust and self-distrust to their children.

So - as a post-sixties-kid - being in Cambodia educated me on the impact of generation gaps. Talking about generations X and Einstein suddenly feels somewhat shallow, right?! But think of what third generation Turkish and Moroccan immigrants in the Netherlands experience today. They have to work out a painful generation gap as well, as they face the difficulty of both not really fitting in with their parents and their Dutch work-life environment. Their success is vital for upcoming generations. Cambodia to me is a reminder to always take more than one generation into account, when working with cultural differences. I'd say there’s no better way to understand the drive and frustrations of today!

Boom with Gloom

Australia seems to be one of those happy places in the world, where mateship is key, room to live is abundant, life expectancy and medical care are great and - believe it or not - the economy is actually booming. Although the people we meet quickly prove to have two faces: their happy and their gloomy face. Headlines underline it: ‘Gloom persists in Australia despite good growth and low unemployment’ (The Australian, 28/11/11) ‘Rate cuts fail to lift the gloom’ (SBS, 14/12/11). The economy is registering amazing growth, low inflation, low unemployment and massive investment, enjoyed for an unprecedented 20 years. But yet, the Australians are not happy. Both business and consumer confidence are weak.

As a crosscheck I flicked through some of the worlds happy indices, which provide some interesting statistics. And yes, in terms of numbers, Australia is doing great. The United Nations Human Development Index scores Australia the 2nd best country to live, just behind Norway. The survey is based on indicators such as income and life expectancy. But if you dig a little deeper - for example in world value surveys, where people are actually interviewed - Australia doesn’t even make it to the top-20. Many other countries overrun Australia, amongst which Mexico, El Salvador and USA. Somehow it didn’t surprise us.

To illustrate gloom, just two quick examples of people we ran into. I’ll leave out the backpack crowd this time, although it packs many shining examples of ‘no worries gloom’. Australian Mick - who I accidently met while snorkelling (goggles on) - seems a fun-living bloke, but has a very pessimistic worldview: ‘we’re doing way too good, we’re the enemy now!’ And Barry - our happy and friendly B&B host - is still very much ashamed of the way White Men took over Australia: ‘those so called orphans we used to go and play school-rugby with, they were actually stolen from their parents. They were the Stolen generation. We should repay them, do what we can, allow them their culture. But we’re not too good at those things.’

I will try to explain Australia’s ‘boom with gloom’ my way. On the surface all Australians seem to be mates (except for aboriginals unfortunately, which is a completely different topic!). Similar to New Zealand, mateship and group solidarity are obvious ideals. Although in New Zealand, mateship seems to run deeper and happiness actually feels less superficial. Australia seems different. Contrary to New-Zealanders, Australians are very direct and not the least afraid to criticize. USA-alike, the Australian education system promotes individualism and - as well as the present booming economy - encourages competition. Well yes, mateship, equality and tough individualism, they make an ambivalent and somewhat unfortunate - unhappy - mix.

Then there’s the Australian penal colony beginnings, which is only fairly modern history. Historicists feel this explains why Australians love to be the underdog. Many Australian people like rough edges, love anti-establishment and flirt with being harsh or even outcast. Or as we wrote in our travelblog, this huge continent has serious ‘island mentality’. But consider this: if you’ve always felt great about being the underdog, the perspective of becoming a top dog isn’t very appealing. I’d say it might even scare you.

And then - to top things off - there’s Hofstedes’ scale on uncertainty avoidance. Australians do not like uncertainty. They strive for stability and consensus. In times of change, people tend to feel far more stress and anxiety than average. No worries’ mate! Crisis in Europe, increasing foreign (Asian) investments, price levels on the rise, sustainability issues; although not all bad for Australia, these developments (sub)consciously make people worry. The Australian worry about an increasingly uncertain future, in which the role of their island might change.

As travellers we feel literature misses out on one aspect. In the blistering 40 degrees heat and wind ‘us Dutchies’ obviously feel very unadapted. But so do the former colonists. Their big cars and air-conditioned houses, their historic struggle to settle, it draws up a huge contrast with the land. Their forefathers worked hard to conquer this land, but to what extent did they really succeed? Australia’s nature is one tough nut to crack. You will always be a guest. Or as Barry’s 88 year old aunt explains: ‘we cannot even do without air-conditioning for one second, so how can this country be sustainable?’ Aboriginals - who have been connected to this land for over 6.000 years - can’t even begin to understand why the colonists should be happy: ‘White man him go nowhere. Him not connected. Him got road only to himself.’

New Zealanders, tell me what you think!

The Listener, a New Zealand magazine, published an article on main characteristics that define ‘New Zealandness’. Two anthropologists, specialized in sociological and psychographic research, went in-depth to map distinctive qualities. Mind you, their research was sponsored by an advertising firm that works for a few big companies, such as Coca Cola and MacDonalds. It revealed some interesting characteristics, some of which were already very recognizable during our travels.

New Zealanders are typified as the teenagers of the world, wanting to do their own thing. Doing it, actually. This is a country where you can ski, see a play, go yachting, drink a latte and go for a bushwalk, all in the same day. It’s all play, and nothing is that far away.

As you know, teenagers are often characters. A characterizing element of New Zealandness is the masculine way people express themselves. Call it stoical and blokey, put into practise by both men and women, such as: “do it yourself” (DIY), “don’t be a girl”, “suck it up” or “harden up”. And appearances count as well, as men look manly - all set with tattoos and muscles - and women throw in heaps of feminineness. But although it sounds all tough and adult, it actually isn’t.

For teenagers, friendship is their God, and ‘mateship’ may well be the single most important key to New Zealandness. In the end, all mates help each other out. They’re not so tough as they look. But there’s one thing - that often goes with mateship - which really stood out for me. As easygoing as New Zealanders are, they are pretty much afraid of conflict. Kiwi’s don’t argue and avoid strong gestures and words. They like to keep things cool!

Our host for the day, Hilbrand, is an old friend of my father who migrated to New Zealand in the seventies. He ran a successful landscaping business on the South Island. As a Dutch entrepreneur, Hilbrand has always been used to expressing his opinion. In a short matter of time, we got to know Hilbrand and his wife Marijke as talkative and direct; just the way we tend to like it. But, as Hilbrand explained, his bringing in an argument - just for the sake of taking things into account - in New Zealand is often answered with “okay mate, if that’s how you like it!” New Zealanders tend to find strong opinions intimidating, as well as the people expressing them. The article in the Listener quotes some typical things said in boardrooms, such as “well, let’s agree to disagree” and “let’s take this offline”. People really want to get on, even if they - honestly - are in total disagreement.

I remember some discussions with Americans or Italians, who - on average - have loads of strong opinions stacked up somewhere. It’s interesting to see how some cultures thrive on disagreements and individuality - without any reason or experience to back them up - whereas others keep their cool. Personally I’d probably sympathize with New Zealandness. But - as some people say - to play with the big boys you’d have to give it to them. That raises the question whether these ‘teenagers’ are ready to play with the big boys? On the Bolivian border we met David and Amelia, two New Zealanders travelling, before migrating to London. Now I got more acquainted with New Zealandness, I get curious on how they will do, job wise. Of course I know this New Zealandness thing is about average people; it doesn’t apply to individuals. But Dave and Amelia, will you let me know in half a year from now?

In the end, people are people, and all is fine. But opportunity may be on its way for New Zealand. The All Blacks won the world rugby cup this year, a triumph well deserved and long waited for. But the Kiwi’s dislike of conflict made them insist on modesty for decades. A triumphant sporting personality cannot be all humble, but New Zealandness expects them to avoid the “I rock!” Maybe it has been conformity and modesty what kept the All Blacks - generally known as the best rugby team in the world - away from victory for over 20 years. I feel their triumph might have made New Zealanders - to whom sport actually is like therapy - more aware of their abilities to play with the big boys. So maybe, the easy going Kiwi will forget about his anxiety to change, all set and ready to speak up for himself. I sure hope the youngest country in the world grows up soon, as it has a lot’s of good New Zealandness to share with the rest of the world.

Sweet freedom

Freedom camping: two appealing words that - if combined - change their meaning, but keep their appeal. Like free climbing, or couch surfing, or bike travel, or (to me and some others) cheese fondue. Now if you combine all these words, they probably make the most tacky introduction to a blog about freedom. A topic way too big to blog about anyway. But hey, let’s see where we strand.

Freedom is one of humanities top-3 desires, together with health and happiness. Although health for many people is their well-deserved number one, freedom is one of those other foundations that make life good. That explains why we punish people by sending them to prison, or by taking other liberties from them. That is how we justify a lot, actually.

A big word, freedom, though we use the word all the time these days. Well hey, we’re freedom camping in New Zealand. How lucky are we? Although the freedom bit in freedom camping is relative as well. It means we are free to camp anywhere we like, just as long as we (A) stick to all the rules considering camping in New Zealand, (B) avoid private grounds and (C and most important) avoid to accidentally get in the way of the wrong people. Yes, as free as we are, our freedom is well limited. But for good reasons if you ask me, as some freedom campers already exceeded the reasonable and spoilt some of the wonderful environment.

That seems to be a fact of life; as much as we desire freedom, we find it hard to deal with too much of the good stuff. Too much freedom is like too much power; it tends to get the better of people. In history and politics, we find endless amounts of prove on how person or people A restricted person or people B in their freedom. So I or we can have more of it for our selves. In New Zealand for example, the Maori people were shamefully played by the government for their land. But at least New-Zealand came a long way to make up for all this. A few weeks ago, in the South of Patagonia, we witnessed historic display of freedom driven crime against humanity beyond repair. I was particularly disappointed to find out Charles Darwin played such a key role in getting the Indians extinct. But don’t even get me started on politics today…

So how about a plea for the freedom to put up some restrictions? For is it not restrictions that make you aware of how good freedom feels? We are restricted by so many things, like rules and laws, the fact that we live in a society with other people, plain basics such as time and money, and even our own limitations and limited comprehension. The couple we meet on a freedom campsite demonstrate how good restricted freedom can be. Two friendly elderly people on a small government pension, travelling in a rusty old campervan with two diabetic - fat - cats in the back. And they’ve got a whole lot of serious frustration going on about all the changes New Zealand is going through. But if they get away from it all in their rusty van, they spend time on their beloved free ‘Reid farm’, named after the farmer who donated his land to freedom camping 15 years ago. And they enjoy every bit of their three days of freedom. They demonstrate how freedom loses it’s meaning, without restrictions to overcome. Without restrictions, all the excitement and achievement seems to fade.

There is much - much - more to say on freedom. For example on how we are all free to pursue it. And on all sorts of freedom; like the freedom of choice, the freedom of speech, the freedom of thought and even the freedom to mess up. I’d rather leave all that to bigger minds. But if you’re hungry for it, you might want to read ‘Freedom’ by Jonathan Frantzen. We loved it.

For now we are absolutely enjoying the freedom of travel that is given to us. Knowing how lucky we are to have some restrictions, but not too bad and not too many. Plus, we have somehow managed to learn to like restrictions, such as the lousy weather we’ve had last week. These restrictions turn out to be travel companions, or sometimes even travel necessities, as they prevent us from drowning in freedom of choice.

Difference fatigue

I read an interesting blog from ‘Titus on Mission’, a missionary man on a visit in Peshawar-Pakistan. Let me just quote Titus: “It was all interesting and exciting. Then on the afternoon of the fourth day I needed to shut down, get by myself and be away from it all! It was an urge quite beyond jet lag or introversion. There were still plenty of things to do, more conversations to pursue, and, in fact, that was the story of the rest of the visit. But at that moment I couldn’t take in more of the new and different. I needed to shut the door and be alone with the little I had that was routine and familiar – a book, a newspaper, e-mail that needed tending”.

Before we left on our trip I wondered when I would first reach that point - where it’s just enough - for now. When you need to retreat for a little while, because you just can’t take in things like you want to. In our first 2 1/2 months we’ve gotten to that point at least once. And - since we have enough time on our hands - we can just give in.

Which is a lot less easy at work. New projects and clients, innovative ideas, the occasional clash of opinions; all regular differences we don’t just step away from at work. Even though we really need to sometimes. If you’re part of the ratrace, like to do startups or change, and if you’re committed, differences can really get to you sometimes. Work is inspiring and rewarding and all, but wouldn’t you sometimes just like to …….? Note to self: it is funny how - while travelling - I think of work regularly. In very positive ways, although I’m sure I don’t want to get started tomorrow. But time and distance are feeding me with new ideas and energy to task. No work-related difference fatigue here and now!

This is - again - where I start to wonder about coach cultures. If you’re working in a different cultural environment, it can at times be really hard on you. You’d have to face cultural differences every day, up to the day you manage to become part of it. Just take it all in, even though sometimes your own ideas make way more sense. I remember the stories of some of my foreign coachees, trying to make sense of their ‘senseless’ colleagues. Luckily being different offers advantages as well.

But, at the end of the day, we all get difference fatigue. It’s a solid and very understandable reason why immigrants - or people who are just a bit off average (almost anyone from that perspective) - like to stick together. The same reason why most people like to stay on familiar grounds and keep in touch with their own roots and familiar routines. The occasional holiday once or twice a year is enough to most. You just have to admire the people that are bridging the gaps every day.

On our travels we flew from South America to New Zealand. To us, the New Zealand cultures suddenly feels very similar to home. Add to this our ‘promotion’ from backpack to minivan, which makes it very easy to avoid everything we don’t like at first sight. We’re giving in to the difference fatigue, tired of cultural and personal differences. Precisely the moment I got here, I felt a strong urge to connect to friends and family back home, wanting to do a little peer intervision in my own subgroup. But now, after a few days, or maybe a week of tending to ourselves, we start to feel the itch again. It’s an itch to experience new differences, to check out things and to talk to new people, the itch to learn and develop in general. Hey, we’re not very different from most people; we get tired. But after recovering from our difference fatigue: bring it on!

The noble art of doing nothing

As we’re travelling we get to do loads of things. Plus we get loads of time to do nothing. Theoretically, it’s just a matter of choice. In practise, doing nothing is probably one of the bigger hurdles I like to jump. I always seem to have something planned, or at least something coming up. It’s actually quite hard to just lean back and let things be. Needless to say I am part of a numerously big crowd.

I guess it’s a cultural and a family thing. Time just seems too wonderful to waste. How interesting it is to observe the travelling crowd. If alone at bus stops, in buses or on boats, travellers always seem busy reading their books or writing their diaries. Or maybe they are updating their facebook page (mentioning they are at a Peruvian bus stop). These busy travellers, they are nothing like Bolivians or Peruvians. The locals at the bus stop have their own elusive way of just being there, without any hassle or impulse. A yoga master couldn’t do any better!

After six weeks of travelling - on our 4-day boat trip from Puerto Montt to Puerto Natales - I finally find some of that myself. And why not, it’s not like we have anything better to do, right? Life on the boat starts with breakfast and then slowly progresses through lunch to dinner. In the meanwhile we hope to spot some whales and dolphins, or maybe penguins. So, basically, we just stare out at sea. I get to hang around, talk to lots of different people, play a little game of chess and grab a coffee every now and then. But the noble art of doing nothing is what ties it all together. And - probably just to my own surprise - I actually find it very relaxing. Maybe even for the first time since being a teenager, I don’t feel the least pushed around by new ideas and alternative plans.

In between these wonderful periods of nothing, I just have to cultivate things a little and start talking about ‘it’ with other travellers. A few interesting things came up:

1. Once you free your agenda, doing nothing actually turns out to be very spontaneous. Free time opens you up to anyone and anything. This is how nothing turns into interesting! 
2. If you try to let go of old ideas, beliefs and habits, stop planning is a great way to open your mind. At times you don’t really do or think much, like in the shower or maybe staring at the sea, you’re most likely to get in contact with your own genius. 
3. For almost every traveller doing nothing is a topic, in different shapes and sizes. Mindfulness, yoga, boat trips and 30 hour bus rides, they all contribute to both 1 and 2.

What I find most interesting is how travelling seems to be one of the most effective dates people can make with themselves. Whereas at home these self-dates are often replaced by other plans, travelling eventually turns out to be that something that helps you to do nothing. Especially when travelling starts to wear you down. This is why a close friend gave me the advice to - every now and then - spend a sleepless night on a dreadful bus. The value of this advice is slowly sinking in.

Yes, there’s always a lot to learn. But if there’s one thing I’d like to pick up from other, time plentiful cultures, it is this noble art of doing nothing. I’m sure it will help me - and others - to enjoy the moment, and to change restricting perspectives from time to time. If it comes to doing nothing I may not be genetically blessed, but I’m happy to say I’m learning!

Admirable quality migration

Down South Latin America we stumble upon several German settlements. German even turns out to be the fourth or fifth language in Chile. In Puerto Natales, the main tourist attraction is actually a walk along several colonial style German houses. What a blast! Nevertheless the history of German culture in Chile is very interesting. In 1845 Chile took on the Law of ‘Selective Immigration’, which was meant to bring in middle and upper-class people from abroad, to colonize the south of Chile. Over 6,000 German families arrived in Chile during this period alone.

As you might be aware, migration is usually triggered by poor living conditions in the homeland. Therefore on average migrants are more often poor and not very suitably skilled. But the migration of Germans to Chile was something different. It turned out to be very important to the region in terms of quality. Amongst the German migrants were many skilled carpenters, furniture makers and enthusiastic beer-brewers. But they were also university graduates and academics, such as pharmacists, doctors, scientists and professors. The Germans became the most successful subgroup in Chile, especially in terms of housing, atmospheric and liveable villages and social-economic position.

Sensation seeking stories focus on the Second World War. During the war many German Jews settled in Chile. After the war, many Nazi leaders and collaborators took refuge in the south of Chili, the most infamous of which was Paul Schäfer who founded Colonia Dignidad. But luckily this bit is only a fragment of the very visible German-Chilean history. And although the Germans mix very well with the Chilean population today, they were very successful at maintaining their own subculture. A deacon in Valparaiso even described the South of Chile as a German time-bubble.

I wondered which cultural aspects, besides their obvious skills, made the Germans so successful? I could summarize some of the dimensions along which cultures vary, such as low context versus high context, monochronic versus polychronic, future versus past orientation and different perception of time and seasons. But that would only roughly describe differences between Northern Europeans and Latin Americans today. 150 years ago things were different. I feel it must have been the future orientation and the enterprising souls of the migrants that made most of the difference. These migrants set off to make the best possible future for themselves and for their children. They were consciously seeking opportunities, whereas the life of the average Chilean was nothing out of the ordinary.

It is similar to what some migrants and expats show us today, which I still find admirable and stimulating every time. On our trip we met many international hostel owners, several expats and loads of fellow travelers. What they seem to have in common is their open hearts and minds, plus a desire to make their own choices and pave their own path. Either you were here a 150 years ago - or just today - you would find yourself in very good company!

Some academic encouragement

In Latin America, my Spanish has obviously been a block in terms of serious intercultural communication. I must admit that - on this continent - my intentions for coachcultures.org are not met to the full. To the half, maybe ;-) Nevertheless, while traveling, I am sensing cultures. It’s in the games children play. It’s in things the people just do, think or feel, even though nobody tells them to. It’s in what some people just seem to know, and I don’t.

In the meanwhile, I find lot’s more time to read. While reading an article by David Matsumoto, I got seriously encouraged to keep writing this blog. Matsumoto, a psychology professor at the University of San Francisco, is an expert in cross-cultural psychology. He explains how cross-cultural psychology used to be an exotic branch of psychology. Now, due to globalization, it gradually becomes mainstream. As coaching is partly applied psychology, I try to pick up what I can from his psychological research and experience.

Let me explain a little bit about cross-cultural psychology by giving an example. Everybody smiles. Smiling is very common for greeting, for acknowledgment, or just for showing acceptance. But a smile can also be used to mask emotions. Cross-cultural research shows how cultures differ in the use of smiles. The Japanese for example, emphasize on group harmony and conformity. These values are threatened by negative emotions. Therefore smiling is very important amongst the Japanese. But, as a result of seldom showing negative emotions, the Japanese have a tendency to not recognize expressions such as anger, disgust or fear. In contrast, the United States is very keen on individuality, which encourages both the expression and perception of negative emotions. Cross-cultural psychology is not about good taste or decent people-skills. It’s about facts. And for a fact, if Japanese and Americans are living or working together, emotions can very easily be misinterpreted. It is an example of extremes, but it helps to understand how subtle cultural differences can gave serious impact.

But - as I mentioned - I felt encouraged. Why? David Matsumoto has some advice for those who want to break in the field of cross-cultural psychology. His first advice is to get exposed to as much variety of human behaveour as possible. Well, I feel as if I have done a pretty good job already over the last 37 years (still going strong). Matsumoto’s second advice is to travel, in order to experience and feel different cultures. Yep, we can tick that one of! His third advice is to put it all together meaningfully, to learn and teach us something I/you/we don’t already know. To me that is exactly what coachcultures.org is about. Yes, it will be great to be able to double or triple intercultural communication on our next destinations. But for now I am happy just to keep all my senses open!

Starbucks, BurgerKing and MacDonalds

Travelling in Latin America we don’t see as much of them as expected. Not a problem in our book, but still somewhat surprising, as in some other countries there seems to be one of them just around every corner. Which left us with the question ‘why not in Latin America?’ For various reasons I suppose. To begin with, a lot of Latin American countries are still seriously anti-US. As a lady in La Rioja (Argentina) explained, this has for years been the single most important reason not to teach English at schools. These sentiments must have kept the American food-giants out for a while. But secondly, much more practicable, the local burgers and lomo-steaks are almost impossible to beat. They are huge, tasty and everywhere, plus they are way cheaper than MacDonalds or BurgerKings. The same goes for coffee, as most Latin American countries have their own strong coffee culture. (Which doesn’t mean the coffee is actually good ;-)

But, in the end, I guess it’s a cultural clash. I read an interesting article by Thomas Friedman on ‘the Lexus and the Olive tree’. He describes the conflict between Lexus, dedicated to modernizing, privatizing and globalization, and the olive tree, dedicated to unique traditions, stories, places and families. As globalization pushes further, the question of business and culture (Lexus versus Olive tree) is more and more out there. For if Western companies want to operate in culturally different countries, how do they maintain their management practice and still achieve success far from home? Friedman’s answer is integration, worked out in examples of Starbucks in Korea and IKEA in the US.

Starbucks’ core values include teamwork, equal participation and diversity. When looking to expand in South Korea, Starbucks realized that the Koreans value power distance (see cultural differences). They had to decide if they were willing to be more hierarchical. They decided not to go all black-and-white, and tried to integrate differences. At Starbucks everyone refers to each other as partners, calling each other by first name. This proved to be very discomforting for South Korean employees. As a solution, managers gave every employee an English name, so that they could call each other by their English names. As the English name was used as a substitute for a title plus last name, this did feel comfortable. This way Starbucks’ value of equality was retained. Another point of cultural conflict was Starbucks’ value of teamwork. Every employee does whatever needs to be done. As Korean men traditionally do not do housework-type tasks, such as cleaning toilets and washing dishes, this was a problem. To overcome this (and to get the dishes and the restrooms done) Starbucks adopted a role-modeling approach. This is often very effective in high power distance cultures. Starbucks had the international director do all this. They even hung a picture of him cleaning the toilet!

Only briefly the example of IKEA, who says they value equality even more than your average US company. As they don’t use job titles or clear job descriptions, a cultural conflict raised. The best qualified people in the US simply wanted more status and clearer career perspectives. IKEA changed their recruitment strategy, by emphasizing their values and by providing realistic job previews. Those who did not identify quickly selected themselves out of the company. What IKEA actually did, was to benefit from the large variability in individual values within the US. They were able to select their own suitable employee-subgroup.

The bottom line to me seems the necessity to be culturally aware if you want to be successful. Back to Latin America. Anti-American sentiments seem to soften. English is now taught at schools and internet and MTV have reached the younger generations. But some cultural conflicts remain. In terms of power distance and roles of male employees, it compares somewhat to Korea. Another cultural conflict that arises is the past/present orientation in Latin American countries. As a consequence, the mean management style is quite conservative. Western companies are generally future oriented, which means management includes planning, doing and controlling. And then of course Latin America embraces mañana mañana and value time way different than we do. If Western companies want to be successful over here, they have to deal with punctuality issues. You’d at least have to invest in job interviews and work out different palets of fringe benefits.

Yes, we spent hours and hours in Latin American restaurants. Not to mention how courses sometimes miraculously changed order, or all got served at once. But in the end, competing with local lomo-steaks may well be too much for the Western Burgergiants. We’ll (eat &) drink to that!

A bunny in a bunny suit

‘pretending to be myself again
acting as if I was who I am
wearing the clothes that I always wear
and doing the usual thing to my hair

pretending to be myself again
imitating the person I've always been
legally changing my name to my name
and making believe I'm exactly the same

a bunny in a bunny suit
tiger in a tiger mask
who in the world do you think that I am
I suppose it depends on who you ask’

I happen to hear this song (by Richy Vesecky) for the first time at a tango performance in Utrecht. How suitable. It could be about subgroups, like for example certain types of travelers. The ones that try so hard to make sure they look like one ;-) But to me - today - it’s about personal growth. About whether you allow yourself to grow within the network of your family, friends and colleagues. Others - unconsciously - tend to know you for who you were, not for who you are. Unless you put some serious and constant effort into it. Which can be very scary at times, as it might cause relationships to break, or jobs to suddenly become very hollow. For many times, it seems a lot easier to just wear the suit, for now…

I feel this is one of the bigger themes in our western individualized society. Most of us grew up with the concept of personal growth and welfare. But as we grow older, we find this can easily come into conflict with our need to be part of a family or a close circle of friends. It’s up to us to find ways to balance these scales. For sure, this is a challenge we sometimes wished we could do without.

Actually, some other cultures do, like Bolivia for example. Over here, tight knit social networks are way more important than ours. The family is the axis of the social life and structure. Especially in rural areas, many generations still often live together in one house. The extended family or ‘familia’ serves as a strong support and network system. And also in Argentina, family is the centre of life. Family honor and tradition are very important in both countries.

I always thought it was difficult to stick your neck out back home in the Netherlands. But just imagine how hard it is over here? For even if you are educated and skilled, you are not respected for loosening social knots. It takes strong character and loads of willpower to do so. Like our local tour guide Nancy. She went to University to study languages. By doing so she’s able to make a decent living. Nevertheless, she’s almost completely out of touch with family and close friends.

So it seems to me that many Bolivians are most likely to be who they have always been. I guess the choice between the bunny and the bunny suit is simply a luxury choice our western culture allows us to have.

Trust the process

Three simple words, though quite a challenge. These words often come to my mind, not in the least because these words are almost mantra-like in various management books and trainings. Trust the process, jump in, give time, positive change will come.

Again, while travelling, words get a different meaning. Since there’s quite a lot of change going on. As events are a lot harder to control, we have no choice but to put trust in the process. Which means that, at the end of the day we will find a bed, we will be better informed, and we will find some food (nutritious or not…). And, for sure, things will not work out as bad as we sometimes imagine. And, to be honest, trusting the process is a whole lot easier while travelling, as we have a unique opportunity to re-start our process every single day.

Not in every day’s life though. That’s when trusting the process becomes notably harder. That’s when people start to long for more control. For obvious reasons, as most of the times there is a lot more at stake. And when it comes to stakes, fears are often reflected in all sorts of change whatsoever.

Psychologically, travellers seem to be in their own subgroup. They choose to enjoy the change, loosen the stakes, and set most of their worries and fears aside. Or so it seems. More or less the same goes for people who choose to work abroad: they are headstrong and certainly show some guts. Or so it seems. Most of the travellers we meet are pretty good story-tellers. They share their finest hours, and don’t seem worried at all. But in time (after thorough examination and interrogation ;-) it becomes clear to me how ‘trust the process’ can easily become a hollow mantra to hide behind. Because obviously joining the subgroup of travellers doesn’t make you get rid of your own fears and stakes.

Travelling together, we have noticed how important it is to us to be aware of these worries. Forget about the mantra. Once worries are expressed and understood, it’s suddenly a whole lot easier to put actual trust in the process. Yes, I know the song quotes that ‘worrying is as effective as solving an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum’. But sharing worries helps us to understand ourselves, which makes it a lot easier to take on new adventures. Suddenly the mantra is not so hollow anymore…

An interesting lack of language skills

Travelling in South America, my way below average Spanish is an interesting source of experience. Usually I am an extravert, liking to rely on conversation and personal contact to gather information or to create. These are important qualities to me, not in the least at work. Now, completely lacking sufficient language skills, I experience how this actually narrows the opportunity to be me. I get hesitative in making first contact and become much more introvert. Plus, I have to rely on others to get things done, without almost no control on my behalf whatsoever. Which, for some people, actually feels less comfortable at times (haha) … Just a few small examples on what lack of language skills can do.

What a valuable experience, as it helps me to feel what cultural or lingual differences can do to someone’s ability to be who he or she is. And again a lesson in the added value of experience, compared to of course already knowing all this in general. The wider the lingual of cultural gap, the bigger the impact on ones behaviour, thoughts and feelings. This is something to really take into account if someone is just working at the firm, or is new to a culture. The same goes for coaching in these processes. If a small lingual problem transforms me from comfortably extravert to almost hesitatively introvert, the impact of other sorts of changes are easily understood.

Golden handcuffs? Not in Argentina...

In Buenos Aires we met Taylor, a young African American who successfully works as a legal expert at a big law-firm in New York. He was on a well-spent three week holiday, something not many Americans get to do. As we explained to Taylor we are in our first weeks of a year of travelling, our conversation suddenly took an interesting turn. That’s when Taylor mentioned the golden handcuffs: living the fast and luxurious life in which everything seems possible, at first... Very attractive. And how easy it is to get used to having the money, and ofcourse the prestige that comes with the job. Until you realize how those golden handcuffs lock you to the rat race for many more years to come. Traditional retirement plans, restricted stock options, savings plans, health insurance and many other benefits (provided to you by the company) lock the cuffs even tighter. And, as they say, people often rather stick to the devil they know, than risk the devil they don’t know.

In that perspective Taylor was something different for sure, being very open to new ideas. An important asset, as it helps you to realize there’s no one but yourself holding the keys to the cuffs. Now this is something you don’t have to explain to the Argentines! Talking to Hans en Alina from Belgium and Argentina, who run a Posada in Mendoza district, it becomes clear to me how the Argentines keep the cuffs away. They have experienced a big crisis in the early 2000’s, which threw a lot of middle class people back to lower class. Only the few in power profited. Happily for the Argentines they have good public schools. This is how the children of people struck by crisis work themselves back up to middle class. But crisis has made the Argentines flexible, so Alina explained. This is where their thinking is almost opposite to that of an average successful American or Northern European business partner: never expect too much of the future and make sure you don’t depend heavily on the things you have today… Thanks to little future orientation and a vast quantity of time.

Personally I’d like to see quite a bit of this thinking in Europe, especially where it concerns our current economic crisis. Stop living in the future and thinking of more growth, and start making it work today! (or mañana…)

And how about coaching? Well, from here out is seems pretty obvious how it can be more difficult to coach your average successful European on how to enjoy a day’s life, in comparison to your average Argentine. And if it comes to dealing with pressure and responsibility, I would for sure take cultural differences into account. But, on the handcuffs, let me be careful not to judge before I’m sure I haven’t cuffed myself to having a year off…

Two weeks to go!

Less than two weeks before we set off. As of this moment I am no longer responsible for any coaching, training or consultancy work. How different that feels, and funny for sure. We are slowly digesting it, and look forward to experience every little next step.

And how about Coach Cultures? As I am informing clients and contacts about our travel plans and my thoughts on Coach Cultures, the ideas gradually gain space and start to sink in. Check the other pages on this website to get a feel. 

Before departure I have a few things to mention:

• Meeting with clients and discussing the topic of Coach Cultures over the last month or so, I noticed many blanks if it comes to integrating cultures at work. And - more importantly - I noticed a big interest and desire to do integrate and get the best out of our work and our team. That is a big inspiration!
• Our first destinations will be Argentina, Chile and around. We will visit Buenos Aires, Salta and Santiago de Chile for sure. If you have any suggestions for people to meet, I'd be happy to hear from you.
• I am sure our first month of travelling will be like a holiday. So this is where I am happy to inform you not to expect any blogging on my behalf in the upcoming six weeks!

For now, it is time to say some goodbyes, and to enjoy our last weeks over here in Utrecht. See you in Argentina!