Difference fatigue

I read an interesting blog from ‘Titus on Mission’, a missionary man on a visit in Peshawar-Pakistan. Let me just quote Titus: “It was all interesting and exciting. Then on the afternoon of the fourth day I needed to shut down, get by myself and be away from it all! It was an urge quite beyond jet lag or introversion. There were still plenty of things to do, more conversations to pursue, and, in fact, that was the story of the rest of the visit. But at that moment I couldn’t take in more of the new and different. I needed to shut the door and be alone with the little I had that was routine and familiar – a book, a newspaper, e-mail that needed tending”.

Before we left on our trip I wondered when I would first reach that point - where it’s just enough - for now. When you need to retreat for a little while, because you just can’t take in things like you want to. In our first 2 1/2 months we’ve gotten to that point at least once. And - since we have enough time on our hands - we can just give in.

Which is a lot less easy at work. New projects and clients, innovative ideas, the occasional clash of opinions; all regular differences we don’t just step away from at work. Even though we really need to sometimes. If you’re part of the ratrace, like to do startups or change, and if you’re committed, differences can really get to you sometimes. Work is inspiring and rewarding and all, but wouldn’t you sometimes just like to …….? Note to self: it is funny how - while travelling - I think of work regularly. In very positive ways, although I’m sure I don’t want to get started tomorrow. But time and distance are feeding me with new ideas and energy to task. No work-related difference fatigue here and now!

This is - again - where I start to wonder about coach cultures. If you’re working in a different cultural environment, it can at times be really hard on you. You’d have to face cultural differences every day, up to the day you manage to become part of it. Just take it all in, even though sometimes your own ideas make way more sense. I remember the stories of some of my foreign coachees, trying to make sense of their ‘senseless’ colleagues. Luckily being different offers advantages as well.

But, at the end of the day, we all get difference fatigue. It’s a solid and very understandable reason why immigrants - or people who are just a bit off average (almost anyone from that perspective) - like to stick together. The same reason why most people like to stay on familiar grounds and keep in touch with their own roots and familiar routines. The occasional holiday once or twice a year is enough to most. You just have to admire the people that are bridging the gaps every day.

On our travels we flew from South America to New Zealand. To us, the New Zealand cultures suddenly feels very similar to home. Add to this our ‘promotion’ from backpack to minivan, which makes it very easy to avoid everything we don’t like at first sight. We’re giving in to the difference fatigue, tired of cultural and personal differences. Precisely the moment I got here, I felt a strong urge to connect to friends and family back home, wanting to do a little peer intervision in my own subgroup. But now, after a few days, or maybe a week of tending to ourselves, we start to feel the itch again. It’s an itch to experience new differences, to check out things and to talk to new people, the itch to learn and develop in general. Hey, we’re not very different from most people; we get tired. But after recovering from our difference fatigue: bring it on!

The noble art of doing nothing

As we’re travelling we get to do loads of things. Plus we get loads of time to do nothing. Theoretically, it’s just a matter of choice. In practise, doing nothing is probably one of the bigger hurdles I like to jump. I always seem to have something planned, or at least something coming up. It’s actually quite hard to just lean back and let things be. Needless to say I am part of a numerously big crowd.

I guess it’s a cultural and a family thing. Time just seems too wonderful to waste. How interesting it is to observe the travelling crowd. If alone at bus stops, in buses or on boats, travellers always seem busy reading their books or writing their diaries. Or maybe they are updating their facebook page (mentioning they are at a Peruvian bus stop). These busy travellers, they are nothing like Bolivians or Peruvians. The locals at the bus stop have their own elusive way of just being there, without any hassle or impulse. A yoga master couldn’t do any better!

After six weeks of travelling - on our 4-day boat trip from Puerto Montt to Puerto Natales - I finally find some of that myself. And why not, it’s not like we have anything better to do, right? Life on the boat starts with breakfast and then slowly progresses through lunch to dinner. In the meanwhile we hope to spot some whales and dolphins, or maybe penguins. So, basically, we just stare out at sea. I get to hang around, talk to lots of different people, play a little game of chess and grab a coffee every now and then. But the noble art of doing nothing is what ties it all together. And - probably just to my own surprise - I actually find it very relaxing. Maybe even for the first time since being a teenager, I don’t feel the least pushed around by new ideas and alternative plans.

In between these wonderful periods of nothing, I just have to cultivate things a little and start talking about ‘it’ with other travellers. A few interesting things came up:

1. Once you free your agenda, doing nothing actually turns out to be very spontaneous. Free time opens you up to anyone and anything. This is how nothing turns into interesting! 
2. If you try to let go of old ideas, beliefs and habits, stop planning is a great way to open your mind. At times you don’t really do or think much, like in the shower or maybe staring at the sea, you’re most likely to get in contact with your own genius. 
3. For almost every traveller doing nothing is a topic, in different shapes and sizes. Mindfulness, yoga, boat trips and 30 hour bus rides, they all contribute to both 1 and 2.

What I find most interesting is how travelling seems to be one of the most effective dates people can make with themselves. Whereas at home these self-dates are often replaced by other plans, travelling eventually turns out to be that something that helps you to do nothing. Especially when travelling starts to wear you down. This is why a close friend gave me the advice to - every now and then - spend a sleepless night on a dreadful bus. The value of this advice is slowly sinking in.

Yes, there’s always a lot to learn. But if there’s one thing I’d like to pick up from other, time plentiful cultures, it is this noble art of doing nothing. I’m sure it will help me - and others - to enjoy the moment, and to change restricting perspectives from time to time. If it comes to doing nothing I may not be genetically blessed, but I’m happy to say I’m learning!

Admirable quality migration

Down South Latin America we stumble upon several German settlements. German even turns out to be the fourth or fifth language in Chile. In Puerto Natales, the main tourist attraction is actually a walk along several colonial style German houses. What a blast! Nevertheless the history of German culture in Chile is very interesting. In 1845 Chile took on the Law of ‘Selective Immigration’, which was meant to bring in middle and upper-class people from abroad, to colonize the south of Chile. Over 6,000 German families arrived in Chile during this period alone.

As you might be aware, migration is usually triggered by poor living conditions in the homeland. Therefore on average migrants are more often poor and not very suitably skilled. But the migration of Germans to Chile was something different. It turned out to be very important to the region in terms of quality. Amongst the German migrants were many skilled carpenters, furniture makers and enthusiastic beer-brewers. But they were also university graduates and academics, such as pharmacists, doctors, scientists and professors. The Germans became the most successful subgroup in Chile, especially in terms of housing, atmospheric and liveable villages and social-economic position.

Sensation seeking stories focus on the Second World War. During the war many German Jews settled in Chile. After the war, many Nazi leaders and collaborators took refuge in the south of Chili, the most infamous of which was Paul Schäfer who founded Colonia Dignidad. But luckily this bit is only a fragment of the very visible German-Chilean history. And although the Germans mix very well with the Chilean population today, they were very successful at maintaining their own subculture. A deacon in Valparaiso even described the South of Chile as a German time-bubble.

I wondered which cultural aspects, besides their obvious skills, made the Germans so successful? I could summarize some of the dimensions along which cultures vary, such as low context versus high context, monochronic versus polychronic, future versus past orientation and different perception of time and seasons. But that would only roughly describe differences between Northern Europeans and Latin Americans today. 150 years ago things were different. I feel it must have been the future orientation and the enterprising souls of the migrants that made most of the difference. These migrants set off to make the best possible future for themselves and for their children. They were consciously seeking opportunities, whereas the life of the average Chilean was nothing out of the ordinary.

It is similar to what some migrants and expats show us today, which I still find admirable and stimulating every time. On our trip we met many international hostel owners, several expats and loads of fellow travelers. What they seem to have in common is their open hearts and minds, plus a desire to make their own choices and pave their own path. Either you were here a 150 years ago - or just today - you would find yourself in very good company!