New Zealanders are typified as the teenagers of the world, wanting to do their own thing. Doing it, actually. This is a country where you can ski, see a play, go yachting, drink a latte and go for a bushwalk, all in the same day. It’s all play, and nothing is that far away.
As you know, teenagers are often characters. A characterizing element of New Zealandness is the masculine way people express themselves. Call it stoical and blokey, put into practise by both men and women, such as: “do it yourself” (DIY), “don’t be a girl”, “suck it up” or “harden up”. And appearances count as well, as men look manly - all set with tattoos and muscles - and women throw in heaps of feminineness. But although it sounds all tough and adult, it actually isn’t.
For teenagers, friendship is their God, and ‘mateship’ may well be the single most important key to New Zealandness. In the end, all mates help each other out. They’re not so tough as they look. But there’s one thing - that often goes with mateship - which really stood out for me. As easygoing as New Zealanders are, they are pretty much afraid of conflict. Kiwi’s don’t argue and avoid strong gestures and words. They like to keep things cool!
Our host for the day, Hilbrand, is an old friend of my father who migrated to New Zealand in the seventies. He ran a successful landscaping business on the South Island. As a Dutch entrepreneur, Hilbrand has always been used to expressing his opinion. In a short matter of time, we got to know Hilbrand and his wife Marijke as talkative and direct; just the way we tend to like it. But, as Hilbrand explained, his bringing in an argument - just for the sake of taking things into account - in New Zealand is often answered with “okay mate, if that’s how you like it!” New Zealanders tend to find strong opinions intimidating, as well as the people expressing them. The article in the Listener quotes some typical things said in boardrooms, such as “well, let’s agree to disagree” and “let’s take this offline”. People really want to get on, even if they - honestly - are in total disagreement.
I remember some discussions with Americans or Italians, who - on average - have loads of strong opinions stacked up somewhere. It’s interesting to see how some cultures thrive on disagreements and individuality - without any reason or experience to back them up - whereas others keep their cool. Personally I’d probably sympathize with New Zealandness. But - as some people say - to play with the big boys you’d have to give it to them. That raises the question whether these ‘teenagers’ are ready to play with the big boys? On the Bolivian border we met David and Amelia, two New Zealanders travelling, before migrating to London. Now I got more acquainted with New Zealandness, I get curious on how they will do, job wise. Of course I know this New Zealandness thing is about average people; it doesn’t apply to individuals. But Dave and Amelia, will you let me know in half a year from now?
In the end, people are people, and all is fine. But opportunity may be on its way for New Zealand. The All Blacks won the world rugby cup this year, a triumph well deserved and long waited for. But the Kiwi’s dislike of conflict made them insist on modesty for decades. A triumphant sporting personality cannot be all humble, but New Zealandness expects them to avoid the “I rock!” Maybe it has been conformity and modesty what kept the All Blacks - generally known as the best rugby team in the world - away from victory for over 20 years. I feel their triumph might have made New Zealanders - to whom sport actually is like therapy - more aware of their abilities to play with the big boys. So maybe, the easy going Kiwi will forget about his anxiety to change, all set and ready to speak up for himself. I sure hope the youngest country in the world grows up soon, as it has a lot’s of good New Zealandness to share with the rest of the world.
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