Some of the orphanages in Siem Reap (and other more touristy places) lead by dreadful example. Many are not even orphanages, but rather boarding schools for poor children or a safe place for children from troubled homes. But the worst ones - and this is said to be pretty common - rent or buy children from their often very poor parents. They only aim to bring in money through orphanage-tourism. For sure, these are not the orphanages where your money is going to be well spent. We saw signs on the streets advertising ‘shows’ by orphans: ‘performance, music & songs by the vulnerable children’. It’s one of those things that made me wonder if I even wanted to know. It does get very complicated. The operating manual for Cambodian orphanages is way too big for a quick read or a short stay.
Some say - and I believe this is true - charity is often damaging, unless it helps the recipients to become independent of it. We tried to find those places, and we believe to have found a few. ‘Where helping tastes good’ is the slogan of ‘Haven’, a restaurant that aims to integrate coming-of-age orphans back into society. Sara and Paul worked in an orphanage on their world trip in 2008. That’s when they started wondering about what happens to the orphans that grow too old to stay. It didn’t look too good, so they wanted to set up something that helps the children take care of them selves. Haven opened only three weeks before we arrived in Siem Reap; in a quiet little street just outside the hustle of downtown Pub Street. ‘We don’t want to expose the children - our family - to this kind of tourism’ Sara explains. ‘Our trainees need a safe, healthy and friendly environment to learn!’ Needless to say the food and the service were great. So after their training, the children can set a new standard in Siem Reap’s catering industry. We ended up eating out at Haven three times that same week. ‘Friends’ in Phnom Penh is a similar, already well-established initiative. Since 1994, Friends protects and reintegrates street children. They possibly run the most famous restaurant in Phnom Penh, besides the Foreign Correspondents Club I guess. I find their holistic program and international and local network very impressing. And luckily, most people want to help out. It’s a lot better to live by each other’s happiness and not misery, right? Although I must admit that if I can help out just by eating out, it has just become very easy.
By chance, we also spent two days teaching at a small English school run by Daro, a Buddhist monk. The school - outside Siem Reap - is not exposed to tourism and doesn’t have much sponsors or ongoing funding. The experience was very good. And although I’m sure the children and the two of us shared both fun and useful hours, we decided to change our approach next time. Especially with children, we feel time and commitment is important. Two days is way too short to make sure it’s all about the best interest of the children; not about us being all helpful and interesting for a few days.
The holistic ‘Haven and Friends approach’ reminded me of something else: niche-aid. In Africa, Western countries especially fund fighting big diseases, such as TBC, HIV and malaria. But we fail to fill up some important healthcare gaps. In Rwanda for example, the big diseases are said to account for only 10% of the problems, whereas more basic issues such as diarrhoea, pneumonia and malnutrition are the biggest killers. Many people still die because of a lack of healthcare, in spite of large amounts of health aid from humanitarian organizations. Some say because most aid is niche-aid. And although fighting big diseases remains important, it may well be more cost-effective to start with the basics; for example by improving health infrastructure, providing training and setting up local management.
I like to think that - and this is no manual - in the end helping all comes down to opening up to people and to just being there. Avoid single-solution-thinking - get to know people - and try to think of them as your family. As Sara and Paul show us. Stick around, but make sure you avoid long-term dependence. In my experience as a coach - which is similar in many ways - people always find admirable and surprising new ways them selves. It’s those pieces only you can put together yourself. Many parents are experts; knowing it’s not about taking over. Understanding that, helping out in other cultures is quite similar. Stick around and open up. In many occasions you’ll find it is not so much your help that makes the bigger difference; it’s the confidence raised by your being there.
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