Stuck between two countries and a hard place

Living in Thailand for a few months, we had the pleasure of eating at this amazing Burmese restaurant for a few times. The restaurant - in the outskirts of town - also functions as a community-heart for local migrants from Burma. It’s a good place for them to meet, chat and share their every day lives. Unfortunately, last week Thai police raided the restaurant. What started with parking issues led to much worse: the arrest and possible deportation of six people. These migrants from Burma don’t hold sufficient legal documents to run a business, which are not the only rights they are denied. Stuck between two countries and a hard place. The police of course knew, which makes this nothing more but harassment and a blunt demonstration of police presence. Frustrating enough, there’s not much to do. It’s these frustrations - and others - that cause these migrants never to feel at ease. Stuck in a hard place that - worst case - feeds fear and insecurity.

We all know our own bits and pieces about fear. Let’s just call it a highly unpleasant, very strong emotion. In general, we get afraid in the anticipation of loss. But it gets even more frightening if we depend on the good will of others, such as Thai police, or others in power. Fear is stressful at the least, but the long-term effects - often overlooked - are possibly far more severe. I would even go as far as to say daily exposure to fear is like practising it. As with most things we practise, we get good at it. When practising fear - including anger as a ‘bonus-emotion’ - you run a serious risk of becoming a fearful and angry person. It takes strong will, character and at least some social support to stop this. Unfortunately fear and anger often become standard when dealing with new challenges. I can only admire the way these people from Burma have compensated fear with courage. Because that - and something of a happy-go-lucky attitude - is what it takes to set up a community-heart when stuck in a hard place.

Very important to the community though, because if you add to this the insecurity that goes with having to be on your guard every day, you understand why these migrants need to seek and meet each other. Insecurity feels like always climbing up a mountain without seeing the top. Others describe it like the feeling of having no freedom of action or choice; always having to do something else then you prefer. Out of this insecurity, it’s understandable for people to become defensive. Over-controlling emotionally - not allowing others in - is just one of the many strategies. As an unfortunate paradox, insecurity - defensiveness, over-controlling, not allowing others in - often tends to trigger conflicts instead of preventing them. This risk of downward spiral is of course the last thing you need when afraid and insecure. Again, the relative safety and security of a community-heart - like the Burmese restaurant - puts things into perspective.

Now this - long introduction - is what I find so frustrating about politics today. So many strategies and policies are based on fear and insecurity, which result in even more fear and insecurity. Strict immigration-rules, catch-22 situations for refugees, strong - often inflicting - words by politicians, stressing differences; it all adds up to nothing much of a way to go. Understanding the long-term effects of fear and insecurity makes it even more annoying to listen to up-tight politicians who lead on these exclusive and excluding policies and ideas from behind their brave and macho masks. Like the former bullies at school; we all know they always turned out to be neither brave nor interesting. We see politicians behaving defensive, we look at them over-controlling emotionally and we know for a fact they are not letting anyone in or close. All I can think of is: insecurity. It just goes to show fear and insecurity cut both ways. These seemingly brave and macho figures - bullies in power, frightening and harassing others - actually get more scared and insecure every day they do so. Good practise! Downward spiral, just what we need, especially from the boys and girls in the lead…

Come on world, is this how we’re going to deal with future challenges? If we all want to be less afraid and insecure - which we do - there’s no other choice but to take some risk in changing our behaviour. Which actually means we have to trust others and expose ourselves; take some risk of getting hurt. Luckily, lots of people are brave; like these people from Burma. Those in better positions on the other hand - like the ordinary you and me, or leaders and politicians - could do with some more healthy and humorous belief in them selves. Aren’t we far too busy overcoming insecurity by finding support - votes, followers, Facebook-likes - all the time? As a strategy to halt the downward fear and insecurity spiral, I say it’s about time we deal with our highly exaggerated need for acceptance and approval. It’ll save us lots of time, lots of fuzz and lots of future troubles.

Stuck between two countries and a hard place - www.coachcultures.org