One of the first things we saw when wandering through the great city of Osaka (Japan), was a race between four two-year-olds. In case you wonder, they were racing on foot-bikes. The moms we’re - quite seriously - organizing both start and finish line. The kids seemed to enjoy themselves, although they cared less for start- en finish lines. Nevertheless they were competing, maybe even for the first time in their young lives. And it won't be the last time. The rules were fair and simple though: (1) all the kids were allowed to compete, (2) all of them had similar opportunities and (3) in the end there were winners and losers.
It reminded me a lot of an Alain de Botton quote in his documentary Status Anxiety: "if everything is more or less leveled, the slightest differentiation is quickly noticed." The Botton points at discriminating winners and losers in a society in which everyone - at first glance - seems to have similar opportunities. In Western Europe and the US for example, we are taught we can all be winners. We are all equal in that way. At the same time, that’s what makes lots of us jealous of peers or neighbors if they are - for some reason - more successful. And if not winning them selves, people are quick to think they’re on the losing end. Sometimes others are even kind enough to - thoroughly - rub that in. An interesting paradox: while in fact everything is more or less leveled, there’s no room for mediocrity. You’re either winning or losing.
In Japan this is not too much of a problem. Hierarchy has for long been accepted in Japanese culture. As I already mentioned in my last blog, Japanese loyalty and obedience by far exceeds what we’re used to in Western societies. Decisions about job positions and salary were often made a long time ago; although it might have been your parents choice, not yours. But at least there’s no need for you to be anxious or unhappy about your status in life. In Japan you’re allowed to be mediocre; you may even shine mediocre. As confusing as it may sound, it’s fair to say there’s more room for mediocrity in more hierarchic societies if compared to egalitarian societies. At least the Japanese are ‘at ease’ with the idea of winners and others.
In Western Europe and the US however, people may get serious anxieties over this. “Even though I’ve achieved quite a lot in life, I often feel a certain need to meet the achievements of some of my friends and colleagues.” Sound familiar? The idea of us all being allowed a similar amount of success might be one of the bigger issues we suffer from as 'equals', simply because we are not. The truth is not even egalitarian societies will allow everyone similar achievements. Society needs variety. Society needs people to live with - and deal with - lesser positions than others. If we can not accept this 'unfairness', that’s a solid ground for jealousy, anxiety, bullying and stress. At work, some women are having even more of a hard time. While men have always been dealing with a certain amount of hierarchy and competition while growing up - team captains, top scorers, funniest and strongest - women are still less used to ranks. In comparison, women more often end up in less healthy forms of competition at work, which causes even more status anxiety.
If we want to get rid of our anxieties - enjoy life as it is - we might want to consider seeing it as it is. People are different. People have different skills. Not to mention our different circumstances, experiences and lessons in life. Unfortunately, not every skill gets the same decent pay and not everyone will be as lucky or privileged. At work we’d find more room for mediocrity and happiness if - first or all - we stopped promising our selves and others too much. It would also be helpful if we stopped enlarging failure. No one needs that. And thirdly, we need to understand every job holds an appreciative value. Only one glance at a Japanese taxi driver - wearing a bow tie, white gloves and a self-confident smile - is enough to understand the Japanese got this. Nevertheless there’s no need to promote hierarchy like the Japanese do. If we see and accept certain things for what they are, we’ll find there’s less room for competition and lots more room for mediocrity. We might even see the beauty and opportunity in mediocrity. Let's live our own lives, not someone else’s. I'm sure we'll like it a whole lot better.
It reminded me a lot of an Alain de Botton quote in his documentary Status Anxiety: "if everything is more or less leveled, the slightest differentiation is quickly noticed." The Botton points at discriminating winners and losers in a society in which everyone - at first glance - seems to have similar opportunities. In Western Europe and the US for example, we are taught we can all be winners. We are all equal in that way. At the same time, that’s what makes lots of us jealous of peers or neighbors if they are - for some reason - more successful. And if not winning them selves, people are quick to think they’re on the losing end. Sometimes others are even kind enough to - thoroughly - rub that in. An interesting paradox: while in fact everything is more or less leveled, there’s no room for mediocrity. You’re either winning or losing.
In Japan this is not too much of a problem. Hierarchy has for long been accepted in Japanese culture. As I already mentioned in my last blog, Japanese loyalty and obedience by far exceeds what we’re used to in Western societies. Decisions about job positions and salary were often made a long time ago; although it might have been your parents choice, not yours. But at least there’s no need for you to be anxious or unhappy about your status in life. In Japan you’re allowed to be mediocre; you may even shine mediocre. As confusing as it may sound, it’s fair to say there’s more room for mediocrity in more hierarchic societies if compared to egalitarian societies. At least the Japanese are ‘at ease’ with the idea of winners and others.
In Western Europe and the US however, people may get serious anxieties over this. “Even though I’ve achieved quite a lot in life, I often feel a certain need to meet the achievements of some of my friends and colleagues.” Sound familiar? The idea of us all being allowed a similar amount of success might be one of the bigger issues we suffer from as 'equals', simply because we are not. The truth is not even egalitarian societies will allow everyone similar achievements. Society needs variety. Society needs people to live with - and deal with - lesser positions than others. If we can not accept this 'unfairness', that’s a solid ground for jealousy, anxiety, bullying and stress. At work, some women are having even more of a hard time. While men have always been dealing with a certain amount of hierarchy and competition while growing up - team captains, top scorers, funniest and strongest - women are still less used to ranks. In comparison, women more often end up in less healthy forms of competition at work, which causes even more status anxiety.
If we want to get rid of our anxieties - enjoy life as it is - we might want to consider seeing it as it is. People are different. People have different skills. Not to mention our different circumstances, experiences and lessons in life. Unfortunately, not every skill gets the same decent pay and not everyone will be as lucky or privileged. At work we’d find more room for mediocrity and happiness if - first or all - we stopped promising our selves and others too much. It would also be helpful if we stopped enlarging failure. No one needs that. And thirdly, we need to understand every job holds an appreciative value. Only one glance at a Japanese taxi driver - wearing a bow tie, white gloves and a self-confident smile - is enough to understand the Japanese got this. Nevertheless there’s no need to promote hierarchy like the Japanese do. If we see and accept certain things for what they are, we’ll find there’s less room for competition and lots more room for mediocrity. We might even see the beauty and opportunity in mediocrity. Let's live our own lives, not someone else’s. I'm sure we'll like it a whole lot better.
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| Room for mediocrity? - www.coachcultures.org |
Want to read more on this topic?
Check the related blog 'boom with gloom', including several comments from readers.
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